Suenos Rotos
by pamz
Summary: An "After Zorro" story about what happens to Felipe in the year after Zorro's unmasking
1. Chapter One

**Author's notes: This is the 1st of several "After Zorro" stories I plan to write, concerning events taking place after Zorro's identity is revealed. This 1st one is about Felipe and Ana Maria. (It helps if you have read my continuing series of 11 stories, starting with "A Real Hero" and ending with the "The Legend Unmasked".) In my timeline, Zorro was unmasked in September 1825.**

**This is dedicated to all you lovers of Felipe angst.**

**Disclaimer: This story is an amateur, not-for-profit publication produced solely for the enjoyment of other Zorro fans and is not intended to infringe upon any rights by Goodman/Rosen Productions, New World Television, Zorro Productions, the estate of Johnston McCulley or anyone else.**

**"_SUEÑOS ROTOS_"**   
**("BROKEN DREAMS")**

** CHAPTER ONE**

**NEW YEARS' EVE 1825**

** "I love you, _querida_."**

** Ana Maria still shivered at the sound of the deep voice saying those words. It had been about four months ago she had learned Felipe could speak but even so... Her arms tightened around him.**

** "I love you too, _querido_," she replied. He leaned down to kiss her inviting lips.**

** Noise from the party going on inside the tavern drifted out into the plaza. Felipe and Ana Maria had slipped outside to get away from it and the crush of people contained within the sturdy adobe walls.**

** Victoria had insisted on having a celebration for the year past and for the year to come. This last year had been one of great upheaval. Both Felipe and Diego had almost been hanged. Mexico had become an independent nation. De Soto was no longer Alcalde; Don Alejandro had taken his place. Diego and Victoria were married and expecting their first child in a little over three months.**

** And Zorro's identity had finally been revealed. The disbelief and shock that Diego de la Vega had been the masked hero was just now beginning to wear off.**

** Felipe had thought the alleyway was deserted when he led his sweetheart into it a few minutes earlier. But right in the middle of their kiss, another couple nearly stumbled upon them.**

** "Oh, sorry," the male half of the other pair said. "Didn't see you there."**

** "_De nada_," replied Felipe. He looked at Ana Maria as the couple moved on. "Let's go somewhere else."**

** She nodded her head. "We could go to the shop. Mama probably won't be home for quite awhile, I imagine." And with good reason, she thought. Sergeant Mendoza was going to propose to Leonora Ortega tonight at midnight. He had been so excited when he had shown Ana Maria the ring he had bought for the occasion.**

** "Do you think she will like it?" he had asked nervously.**

** "She'll love it," the young woman assured him and gave the soldier a big hug. She couldn't think of anyone else she would want as a stepfather than the kind hearted sergeant.**

** Felipe took Ana Maria's hand and they headed across the plaza. The dressmaking shop where she and her mother plied their skills with a needle was dark. Lighting a candle, Ana Maria led her sweetheart into the little sitting room at the back of the building.**

** Felipe wondered, as they sat on the small settee and started kissing each other, if this was such a good idea. It had been about seven months ago since that one beautiful night of lovemaking had occurred. And it had only taken place because they had thought Felipe was going to hang the next morning. It had been extremely difficult but the couple had managed so far to keep their vow that it wouldn't happen again until they were married**

** Part of the danger right now was that Felipe was leaving in two days for Santa Paula. He would spend the next year there apprenticing with Don Ernesto Calderon, the de la Vegas' lawyer. He did plan to come home at least once a month to visit and had already been granted two weeks off in April, when the baby was due to arrive. He wanted to be there when his little brother or sister was born.**

** Things always seemed to get out of control whenever he was to go off somewhere, like when he had left for San Diego when he had been drafted over a year ago. That night, enough had happened between them that Ana Maria had thought she was pregnant until her fears were allayed by Victoria. Then there was the night they thought he was to be executed. He groaned as he remembered how sweet it had been.**

** He moaned again as he realized he had pressed her back onto the cushions, almost lying atop her. More images of that night filled his mind and by the expression on her face, he could tell she was thinking about it too.**

** "_Querida_, we can't," he whispered, his voice trembling with want.**

** "I know," she murmured. Tears welled up in her eyes. "I love you so much, Felipe. It's just that you're going to be gone a whole year and I'm going to miss you so much." She kissed him before she continued. "We can do what we've done before," she suggested shyly. "We can stop before we... you know." She blushed a little.**

** He knew he shouldn't acquiesce, that he should insist they return to the party, that what they were doing was wrong. But then he made the mistake of gazing into her dark brown eyes and he was hopelessly lost. He followed willingly as she led him to her bedroom.**

** An hour later, they were naked, sated and their pledge of abstinence had been shattered into tiny little pieces and stomped upon. Felipe took a deep breath then kissed the top of her head as they lay entwined together on her bed. _Dios_, he hadn't meant for this to happen. But she was so beautiful, so tempting, he had not been able to stop. Nor had she.**

** At least he didn't have to worry about her getting pregnant. Last summer he had overheard some of the vaqueros talking about how to keep from getting a woman with child. Ana Maria had agreed to try it. When he felt he was going to climax, he pulled out and spilled his seed onto her stomach. It wasn't as satisfying but at least he could be inside her until the crucial moment, giving her the pleasure she desired.**

** How could something so beautiful be so wrong? he wondered philosophically. They were engaged. Why did a wedding ring make all the difference? Her eyes were asking the same questions. "I love you, Ana Maria," he stated huskily.**

** "I love you too, Felipe," she replied as she stroked his hair back from his forehead. "I'm sorry. We shouldn't have..."**

** "Shh, _querida_," he comforted her. "It's my fault. I should have.."**

** She silenced him by kissing him. One thing led to another and any new vow of celibacy was short-lived.**

** "Ana Maria? Where are you?" The voice of Leonora Ortega resounded through the small building. The young lovers were startled from the exhausted slumber they had fallen into an hour earlier.**

** "_Oh Dios mio_," whispered Ana Maria. "It's Mama."**

** Felipe jumped out of the bed and began to search frantically for his clothes. He tripped over one of his boots and hit his knee on the bureau. "Ouch!" He was unable to suppress the cry of pain.**

** "Shh..," she admonished him. They both stopped in their tracks as there was a light knock on the bedroom door.**

** "Ana Maria, are you in there?" her mother asked. The door handle began to turn.**

** "_Si_, Mama," she answered as Felipe tried to find a place to hide. Which would be rather useless, he thought self-depreciatingly, since his clothes were still scattered all over the floor.**

** "I've been looking all over for you, _hija_. I have the most exciting news."**

** "Sorry. I wasn't feeling well so I came home." As she spoke, she hastily threw on her nightgown and robe. Giving Felipe a panicky glance, she went to the door and opened it slightly. "What's the exciting news?" she asked even though she already knew the answer.**

** "Jaime asked me to marry him," replied Leonora. She was smiling happily. Ana Maria guessed she had said yes. This was confirmed as her mother showed her the engagement ring the sergeant had given her.**

** Her daughter was genuinely delighted. "Oh Mama, that's wonderful," she exclaimed as she gave her a hug. She led her mother out into the hallway. "Have you set a wedding date?" She peeked back into her room. Felipe was putting on his trousers. They stared at each for a second.**

** "Go," she whispered soundlessly. He nodded as he threw on his shirt.**

** Ana Maria and Leonora went out into the sitting room where a very nervous Mendoza stood. The young woman embraced the sergeant, which embarrassed him even more. The three of them sat down and starting discussing wedding plans as Felipe climbed out of Ana Maria's bedroom window.**

** He made his way across the plaza to the tavern where the party was beginning to break up. No sooner than he had stepped through the doorway, Felipe was waylaid by his adopted father.**

** "Where have you been?" asked Diego. He continued before the young man had a chance to answer. "Victoria and I are going to stay here tonight." He glanced over a his beautiful wife, focusing on the prominent bulge of her stomach. "She won't admit it but she tired herself out with all this. I need you to make sure Father gets home in one piece."**

** "Ana Maria and I were out walking," Felipe lied. Well they had walked a little bit. He looked over at Don Alejandro, who was having a little trouble holding a glass of wine. Obviously not his first one, thought Felipe with a smile. It was a good thing they had brought the carriage tonight. He didn't think the old don would be able to stay on a horse.**

** "Come on, _Abuelo_," the young man said as he reached out for the elder de la Vega's arm. "Time to go home."**

** "That's right!" Don Alejandro shouted to no one in particular as he slammed his hand on the table. "I'm going to be a grandfather." Felipe helped him stand, catching him as the old caballero's legs almost gave out.**

** "_Gracias_," Diego mouthed as he watched his son practically carry his father outside. Felipe nodded.**

** That must have been some walk the young man and his sweetheart went on, mused Diego. By his calculations, they had disappeared about three hours ago. He hoped that was all they did. Then he shook his head.**

** It was still difficult not to think of Felipe as a boy who still needed guidance. Everyone was telling him how well the young man had turned out, that he had been an excellent father to the lad. And that he would be a good father to his own children. Again he shook his head. Felipe had been easy to raise, never causing him or his father much trouble in all the years he spent growing up at the de la Vega hacienda.**

** He looked over at Victoria again. No, he truly doubted any child that was half de la Vega and half Escalante was going to be as well-behaved as their adopted brother had been.**

** Victoria raised an eyebrow as she saw the bemused expression on his handsome face. Mistaking it for something else, she crooked her finger and turned to go to the living quarters she had kept there at the tavern. Glancing over her shoulder, she gave him a seductive smile.**

** _Dios_, he loved this woman. Thoughts of Felipe, the baby or anything else were driven from his mind as he followed his wife into the bedroom and closed the door.**

** Z Z Z**

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

** "Letter for you, de la Vega." Juan Morales, another young man who was also apprenticing with Don Ernesto Calderon, flipped the envelope to Felipe with a grin. "Third one this week. Doesn't she ever get writer's cramp or something. I'm getting tired of being your personal postman."**

** Felipe smiled at the other man's teasing. Juan was a year older than he and the two of them had become good friends in the two months they had been working together. "_Gracias_, Juan," he said, not rising to the bait. He turned over the missive and saw that indeed it was from his Ana Maria. She wrote to him nearly everyday, mostly letters filled with declarations of love and how much she missed him. Sometimes she put in little tidbits of news from Los Angeles.**

** He longed for her as well. Initially he was only going to return home once a month but he had already been back to the pueblo four times. Thinking of the visit he had made just last week, it was well worth the effort it took to make the journey between the two pueblos.**

** Felipe set aside the tome he had been perusing before Juan's interruption. He was supposed to be searching for legal precedents for a land dispute Don Ernesto was handling. He eagerly slit open the envelope and unfolded the paper inside.**

** _Dearest Felipe_**

**_ I know you were home just last week. But I need you to come home again as soon as you can._**   
**_ I have something to tell you that I cannot do in a letter. I need to tell you face to face._**

**_ Please, querido, come as soon as you can._**

**_ Yours always, Ana Maria_**

** The young man's mind raced with all the possibilities of what she could not tell him via the mail. Had she found someone else? He didn't think so, it had only been a week since he'd seen her. Plus in the letter she called him dearest and _querido,_ closing it with 'Yours always' like she normally did. No, it must be something else. Was someone sick or hurt or... _Madre de Dios_, dead?**

** He stood and went to seek out his _patron_. He needed to go home.**

** Z Z Z**

** "Did he say what it was about?" inquired Victoria as she absently rubbed her stomach. The little _niño_ inside was very active this morning. Only one more month to go and she would get to hold her precious baby in her arms. She smiled fondly at its father.**

** "No," he said in response to her question. He placed his hand on his wife's bulging abdomen and was rewarded with a vigorous kick. "Feisty little thing, isn't she?"**

** "He," contradicted Victoria. "He's a feisty little fellow."**

** They were smiling at each indulgently when the front door opened. Felipe and Ana Maria entered the library where the older couple were waiting for them.**

** "Sit down, _por favor,_" Felipe instructed. He solicitously guided Ana Maria to a chair by the fireplace as Diego and Victoria settled down on the settee. Taking a seat next to his sweetheart, he glanced at her, then at his adopted father and mother. Then he looked at the floor.**

** "Felipe, what is going on?" Diego asked curiously. He had a feeling that this wasn't going to be good news.**

** The young man reached over and grasped Ana Maria's hand. The words stuck in his throat for a moment as he gazed at Victoria's swollen belly. Taking a deep breath, he looked at his parents.**

** "We're having a baby."**

** Z Z Z**


	2. Chapter Two

**CHAPTER TWO**

** The silence following Felipe's announcement was deafening. At first, Diego had misunderstood, thinking the young man was speaking of his and Victoria's coming bundle of joy. Then he realized that was not the case. A gasp came from his wife as she reached the same conclusion.**

** He lowered his head and took a deep breath before he spoke. "Are you sure?"**

** "_Si_, Don Diego," Ana Maria answered with tears in her eyes. "Doctor Hernandez, he... He said the baby is due in October."**

** Felipe squeezed her hand reassuredly as Diego mentally counted. He narrowed his eyes as he stared at his son. Out walking, were they? He raised an eyebrow as he remember the excuse the young man had given him for their absence from the New Year's party. Felipe looked away guiltily as he knew his lie had finally been caught out.**

** "We're getting married," he stated. "We're going to speak with Padre Benitez this afternoon."**

** "Does your mother know, Ana Maria?" Victoria queried. She felt a little sorry for the young couple. They seemed so scared.**

** "No, we haven't told her yet," the young woman replied. And she was not looking forward to it. She often wondered if all those things her mother used to say to her were true. That she was a brazen hussy who threw herself at men.**

** She glanced at Felipe then and saw the love in his eyes. No, there was only one man she would ever want and he was going to be the father of her children, her husband. She smiled at him, love shining in her dark brown eyes as well.**

** Victoria, sensing that her husband wished to talk with their adopted son alone, pried herself off the settee with Diego's help. "Come with me, Ana Maria. I will show you some of the things I have for the baby."**

** The young woman patted Felipe's hand as she rose and followed the very pregnant Victoria out of the library. He hung his head down as he knew his father was very disappointed with him.**

** Diego didn't know where to begin. He was unhappy about this turn of events. He realized there had been unusual circumstances in the young couple's relationship but still...**

** "Felipe, I thought I taught you a gentleman treats the woman he loves with respect," he stated righteously. "What you have done is quite beyond..."**

** "We were going to be married anyway," his son interrupted defensively. "It just will be sooner than later, that's all."**

** "I know, _hijo_," Diego replied. "I just wish..." He tried but couldn't keep the regret from his voice.**

** "I'm sorry." The young man stared ashamedly at the floor as he rubbed the back of his neck. "You just don't understand..."**

** "I think I do," his father disagreed forcefully. "I had to control my desire for Victoria for over eight years."**

** "I'm not you," Felipe retorted angrily, glaring up at the older man. "Things are different between Ana Maria and I. She..." He broke off, not wanting to reveal that she had desired their lovemaking as much as he had. In fact she had instigated it both times. He had not forced her to do anything she wasn't willing to do.**

** "Well, arguing about it now isn't going to solve anything," declared Diego sagely. "What's done is done. When is the wedding?"**

** "Tomorrow, hopefully," Felipe replied, his temper cooling. "Don Ernesto only gave me until Monday. I have to be back then."**

** As today was Friday, that didn't leave a lot of time, Diego mused. Things needed to be arranged quickly. The young couple would need a place to live, the rented room where Felipe now stayed in Santa Paula wouldn't do. Ana Maria's belongings would have to packed up and taken with them.**

** And her mother was going to have to be told. Diego didn't envy his son that task. The woman had a very straitlaced attitude when it came to her daughter. She was going to be more scandalized by this than anyone else in town.**

** "We'll need to move fast," Diego stated. Then a thought struck him. "You're making me a grandfather," he said in disbelief, then he chuckled. "I don't know if I'm ready for that." He was barely prepared for the birth of his own child.**

** "Well, you have seven months to get used it," declared Felipe, grinning broadly as he patted his father on the back.**

** The voices of the women coming nearer put an end to any more conservation they might have had. They both were smiling when Victoria and Ana Maria came back into the library, comparing their symptoms and chatting about the adorable little garments the older woman had gathered for her baby.**

** Z Z Z**

** "And I now pronounce you husband and wife," declared Padre Benitez. He smiled benignly at the young couple in front of him. "You may now kiss the bride."**

** It took Felipe a moment to realize what the priest had said. He had been lost deep in the eyes of his beautiful bride. He leaned down and kissed her sweet lips, lingering a little longer than was proper.**

** They turned to walk down the aisle, past the tight-lipped countenance of Señora Ortega. To say she had been livid when she heard the news of her daughter's pregnancy and hastily arranged marriage was putting it mildly.**

** She had raised her hand to slap Ana Maria when they had told her. Felipe defended his sweetheart by stepping in front of her. "Don't you dare hit her," he growled at his future mother-in-law. "This is my fault. Hit me."**

** Some of Leonora's anger dissipated then. She realized that Felipe cared for her daughter and would do anything to protect her. She sincerely doubted the blame all fell on his shoulders though. At least he was willing to marry the girl, she thought with relief.**

** He had worried about leaving Ana Maria alone with her mother that night. She had told him it would be all right, she would be fine. But the tears in her eyes and her quivering lip told another story. He had stayed with her as long as possible before returning to the hacienda.**

** The sun was just beginning to set as they emerged from the church. The small group of family and friends made their way to the tavern, where a wedding supper was to take place.**

** Victoria had insisted that they use her old living quarters for their wedding night. They would be more comfortable there, she had said. Felipe had agreed. He was going to be nervous enough as it was. He would feel odd in his bedroom at the hacienda, knowing Diego and Victoria, not to mention Don Alejandro were nearby. And the dressmaking shop was out of the question. The thought of Leonora Ortega in the next room would kill even the strongest desire.**

** There was just an older married couple staying at the inn that night, and Victoria had put them on the opposite side of the building. She kissed both the newlyweds on the cheek as she and Diego prepared to leave. "Be happy," she whispered. Then she took her husband's hand as he led her out to the waiting carriage.**

** Ana Maria and Felipe entered the bedroom and stared at each other in amazement. About a dozen candles were flickering throughout the room and the bed was covered with rose petals. Felipe mentally thanked his adopted mother and realized his father was a very, very lucky man. But not as fortunate as he was, he thought as he gazed down as his beautiful wife.**

** With a beguiling smile, she sat down on the bed. She was wearing the same dress Victoria had worn when she married Diego and it was just as lovely on her as it had been on the older woman. Felipe sat down beside her and caressed her bare shoulders before kissing her tenderly on the lips.**

** She leaned back onto the bed, heedless of crushing the fragile flowers as she drew him down on top of her. The fastenings on her dress were easily opened and they both were soon divested of their clothing.**

** Felipe trembled as he hovered over her. "Are you sure this is all right?" he asked concernedly. "It won't hurt the baby?"**

** "No," she replied, her voice shaking with desire. "Victoria said she and Diego... Well, until last month anyway." She blushed at the thought of the older couple doing what they were about to do.**

** Felipe kissed his way down to her stomach. Stroking it gently, he realized his son or daughter was inside that tiny swell of her belly. _Madre de Dios_. He reverently placed another kiss just under her navel, then looked up at her face. He was alarmed to see tears streaking down her cheeks.**

** "I'm all right," she said, a smile creeping over her face. "I love you, Felipe. Please..." She motioned for him to resume his place atop her. "Please, I need you so much."**

** He tried to blink away his own tears as he did as she requested. "I love you, Ana," he murmured as they became one for the first time as husband and wife.**

** Z Z Z**

** Don Alejandro agreed to accompany the newlyweds to Santa Paula and help get them established. Diego would have like to have gone, but with the _niño_ due in about a month, he didn't want to leave Victoria. Just that morning, she complained her back and her feet hurt. He made her promise to take it easy, knowing the wedding and all its preparations had been too much for her. But she insisted on helping make the young couple's day and night special. They would get no such assistance from the young woman's mother, she had grumbled bitterly.**

** Diego and Felipe were loading the last of Ana Maria's things into the wagon parked in front of the seamstress shop. Señora Ortega had sat grim faced, attaching a sleeve to a white linen shirt, as the men had carried boxes in then out of the building.**

** She rose, setting down her work carefully, and went to the bedroom that would no longer be her daughter's. Ana Maria stood in the middle of the room, making sure she had everything she needed. She spun around as her mother paused in the doorway.**

** "Mama," she started to say but the look in the older woman's eyes silenced her.**

** "Ana Maria, you are my daughter," Leonora stated. "My only child. When your father was killed..." She paused as her voice caught in her throat. "You can't imagine how hard it was for me. I was a woman alone with a child to raise. I was fortunate I was skillful with a needle."**

** She removed something from her skirt pocket and handed it to the young woman. Ana Maria gasped. It was a pair of gold scissors with pearl inlaid handles that had belonged to her grandmother. She had been a seamstress too. She couldn't believe her mother was giving them to her. Tears filled her eyes as she reached out and hugged Leonora.**

** "Mama, _gracias_," she whispered. She looked up into the older woman's eyes. "I am sorry. I know I have shamed you. I just hope someday you can forgive me."**

** "In my heart, I already have, _hija_." The señora turned away and looked out the window. "I never told you this before and I had hoped I would never have to." She then glanced at her daughter. "I was pregnant with you before I married your father."**

** "_Mama_," said Ana Maria in shock. Of all the things her mother could have told her, this would have been the last thing she expected.**

** "I was seventeen when I met Jose, your papa," Leonora reminisced. "He was the first boy to ever notice me. I let him do things I knew I shouldn't but..." She put her hands on Ana Maria's shoulders. "I had hoped for better for you, _hija_. Your papa and I didn't love each other but you were on the way and we had to get married."**

** "Jose resented it. He looked for any excuse to get away from us. When the August Revolution broke out, he was one of the first to join the rebels. I just didn't want you to make the same mistake I did. It breaks my heart that the same thing is happening to you."**

** "No, Mama," Ana Maria contradicted. "It's not the same. Felipe and I love each other. And I never let him do anything to me I didn't want done." She glanced down at her feet. "I know that makes me a bad woman..."**

** "No, Ana Maria, that makes you a woman, that's all," her mother said.**

** The young woman looked at Leonora's face. Now she knew why the older woman had acquired the tough outer shell she never let anyone penetrate. Leonora had been badly hurt by her husband's disregard for his wife and child. Ana Maria had always known deep down that her mother had loved her but that she had a hard time showing it.**

** "Mama," she asked cautiously. "Do you love Jaime?"**

** "I.. I.." Leonora was surprised by her daughter's question.**

** "If you don't, please don't marry him," Ana Maria advised. "It will break his heart. He wants a family, you know. You should tell him what you have just told me." She put up her hand to quell her mother's protest. "He should know about Papa. Tell him, Mama."**

** "I don't know if it's love," the seamstress confessed. "I do care for him deeply. And I do know he wants children. I just don't know if I can give them to him." Seeing the expression on her daughter's face, she added, "because I'm too old."**

** "You're only thirty-six," said the young woman with a smile. "I would love a little sister or brother or two."**

** "I will think about telling him," Leonora stated. She awkwardly hugged her daughter. "I just want you to be happy, Ana Maria."**

** "I am, Mama." She kissed her mother's cheek. "_Gracias_."**

** Outside the shop, Diego and Felipe were waiting for Ana Maria. Don Alejandro had already left after attending Mass that morning, riding Viento, Felipe's stallion. Hopefully by the time the newly married couple arrived in Santa Paula, he would have found a place for them to live.**

** Diego looked at his grown son. He was now a husband and soon-to-be a father. It seemed that the young man had matured rapidly in the last couple of years. Sometimes he found himself missing the little boy immensely.**

** "I suppose you won't be coming back home as often as you have been," he commented a bit sadly.**

** "We'll be back next month," replied Felipe, "when the baby is born. After that, I don't know." He shrugged his shoulders. "Depends on if Ana Maria can make the trip."**

** "As soon as Victoria and the _niña_ are able to travel, we'll come visit you," suggested Diego. "We have quite fond memories of Santa Paula."**

** Felipe laughed. "Victoria says it's going to be a boy." And he knew what those memories were, namely their child had been conceived there on their wedding night. The night his father had revealed to Victoria that he was Zorro.**

** He sobered at the thought that tonight might be the first night he and Ana Maria would be together in a place they could call their own. Thinking of all the places they had made love, he smiled again. He doubted if most couples had been in so many different and varied places as they had. He glanced up at Diego, grinning wickedly as he remembered the previous evening.**

** "Did Victoria ever do that for you?" he asked. When his father looked at him in confusion and shock, he clarified his question. "The candles and roses."**

** "Once or twice," Diego reluctantly confessed, a bit embarrassed to be discussing such things with his son. Actually he had lost count but would never grow tired of it. He knew their wives were swapping secrets about them. He was almost afraid to learn what the two women had shared.**

** He was relieved when Ana Maria and her mother emerged from the dressmaking shop. Both women, though tearful, were smiling; a good omen, thought Diego. Hopefully whatever problems there were between the mother and daughter had been worked out and the señora had forgiven the young couple.**

** This was confirmed when Leonora, after hugging her daughter goodbye, turned to Felipe and drew him into her arms for a quick embrace. "Take care of her," she said, wiping at her eyes with a lace-trimmed handkerchief.**

** "Don't worry, I will," the young man promised. He kissed his mother-in-law on the cheek. "_Gracias_."**

** Diego also hugged both of them goodbye. Then Felipe helped Ana Maria into the seat of the wagon.**

** "_Adios_," the young couple said as the wagon began to slowly move as Felipe flicked the reins.**

** "_Adios_." Diego and Leonora waved as his son and her daughter embarked on their new life together.**

**Z Z Z**


	3. Chapter Three

**CHAPTER THREE**

** It was late afternoon by the time Felipe and Ana Maria arrived in the pueblo de Santa Paula. They spied Viento tied up in front of a tavern and surmised that Don Alejandro was inside, waiting for them.**

** "Ah, Felipe, Ana Maria, over here," the old don greeted them as they entered the establishment. The young couple made their way to the table where he sat along with another caballero. The other man was perhaps in his late forties or early fifties with graying hair and a considerable paunch.**

** "Don Lorenzo, this is my grandson, Felipe," the elder de la Vega said as the man stood. "And my new granddaughter, Ana Maria. This is Don Lorenzo Salazar. He owns a house I think you two will like."**

** Everyone shook hands and after they sat down, Don Lorenzo called for more refreshments. Ana Maria was grateful for the juice and the rest. She didn't want Felipe to worry but she was feeling very tired. So she smiled politely as she listened to the two older men describe the cottage they found for them to rent.**

** And it was just as she had pictured it would be. It was a small one story adobe structure, with a little flower garden in the front yard.**

** "Oh, it's beautiful," she whispered to Felipe as they walked through its rooms. There was a sitting room, a kitchen and dining area in the front of the house. Two bedrooms and a tiny washroom were in the back. In the small yard behind the cottage was a large oak tree, which would provide plenty of shade in the summer.**

** The house came equipped with furniture so they didn't have to worry about buying any. Don Alejandro and Felipe moved the couple's belongings into the building. Ana Maria unpacked the boxes, spreading their contents throughout the cottage. Victoria had thoughtfully contributed two crates of kitchen items; dishes, glasses, pot and pans.**

** It was nearly dark when they returned to the tavern for supper. Don Alejandro was going to spend the night there and then go back to Los Angeles in the morning. He had left Sergeant Mendoza in charge as acting Alcalde. But like his predecessors; and he hated to admit it; he didn't like to leave the soldier in charge for too long. Mendoza was just too kind hearted for his own good and tried to be too helpful.**

** The old caballero shook his head as he remembered the chaos he had inherited from de Soto. The man had clearly been insane. He pushed aside those memories and offered a toast to his grandchildren's new home.**

** He walked back with them to the little cottage. He and Felipe sat outside, smoking as Ana Maria was inside, putting away some more of their things.**

** "_Abuelo_, you haven't said much about all this," the young man commented.**

** "No, _hijo_, I haven't," agreed Don Alejandro. He took a drag off his cigar, then blew the smoke into the air. "You know what you did was wrong. You've made things right by marrying her. There's not much to say."**

** Felipe bowed his head as he put his cheroot to his lips. Inhaling then exhaling, he looked over at the old don. "_Gracias_."**

** The elder de la Vega grinned. "I imagine you got an earful from Diego anyway. Sometimes I have a hard time remembering he's not the same son I've known for the last eight, no nine years." He took another puff. "Then I see him with Victoria and I know he's not the same man." He shook his head.**

** "I still have trouble believing Diego is, was Zorro," he stated. "Right under my nose all that time. And the things I thought and said about him." He glanced over at his adopted grandson. "You're not the only one who messed things up."**

** "He's forgiven you." It came out as a statement, not a question.**

** "_Si,_ and he'll forgive you too," Don Alejandro replied. "_Dios_, any man worth his salt wants to bed the woman he loves and is going to marry. Diego wouldn't want to hear this, but I had a very hard time not kidnapping his mother away from all her _duennas_ and showing her how I felt about her before we were married." He smiled wickedly. "And she wouldn't have stopped me either."**

** "He definitely wouldn't want to hear that," agreed Felipe with a laugh. He knew his father had put Doña Felicidad up on a pedestal, thinking of her in almost saintlike terms. Learning she was a woman who enjoyed intimacy, well, he would have a difficult time dealing with that. He drew on his cigar again.**

** "You know, Felipe," the old don broke the silence after several minutes. "If someone had told me a year ago, that I would be sitting here with you, smoking cigars, you married with a child on the way and talking about sex... _Dios_, even talking at all, I would have thought they were the most _loco_ person in the world."**

** "Me, too," the young man admitted. Their lives had certainly been turned upside down and inside out during the past year.**

** "Well, you have better things to do than sit out here and humor an old man," declared Don Alejandro, getting to his feet. "I'll stop by in the morning before I leave."**

** "_Gracias, Abuelo_," Felipe said, putting out his cigar. "_Buenos noches_."**

** "_Buenos noches, hijo_." The elder de la Vega patted the young man on the back then headed toward the tavern. Felipe watched the glowing tip of his cheroot as it grew smaller as he walked further away. Smiling wryly, he stepped into his new home, where he was greeted by his new wife in a way he would never forget as long as he lived.**

** Z Z Z**

** They settled into their new life together quite quickly. Ana Maria made friends effortlessly. Even though her beauty intimidated people at first, her warm and open personality soon had them at ease. She had swapped life stories with both their neighbors, the Romeros on the right and the Guevaras on the left. She had met several young wives about the same age as she as she shopped at the weekly _mercado_. Several were impressed that her husband was one of the de la Vegas. They were well-known throughout the territory.**

** One thing she did not share with all her newfound friends was her pregnancy. It seemed everyone in town knew when they had married. To announce they were having a baby as well would have earned everyone's censure.**

** Felipe had been teased unmercifully by Juan when it was learned he had returned from Los Angeles with a wife. Don Ernesto had been very surprised to find out his newest apprentice was now a married man. The reason for the hasty nuptials was unspoken but understood between the two gentlemen.**

** The newlyweds spent their evenings quietly, Felipe reading about or working on cases and Ana Maria sewing little clothes for their _niño_. They usually did this for an hour or two until the surreptitious glances they had been giving each other grew bolder. Ana Maria would put away her needle, announce she was going to bed and then headed for their bedroom. Felipe waited about five minutes, set his work down and went to join her. They rarely went right to sleep.**

** They were lying in bed one night, their passion slaked and drowsily sharing kisses. "I'm glad to know everything you learned from the vaqueros last summer wasn't all nonsense," Ana Maria murmured then kissed his ear. Felipe grinned impishly.**

** The de la Vega ranch hands had been a wealth of information when he had spent most of the previous summer out working with them. He had been trying to give his father and Victoria some space after they had married and also to avoid the tension between Diego and Don Alejandro who had spent almost two months at each other's throats.**

** Of course if the men had known he could hear what they were saying and was absorbing every word, they wouldn't have been so forthcoming with their bits of knowledge. They considered him a caballero now, even though he had toiled as hard as they had.**

** His smile disappeared though as he remember the one thing he had implemented that hadn't been so successful. Then he chuckled as he recalled from whom he had heard it. Miguel and Tadeo must have about fifteen children between them, he thought. Obviously that method hadn't worked well for them either.**

** He placed his hand on the growing bulge of her stomach. Soon she wouldn't be able to hide it. And her breasts... They had been magnificent before, but now they defied description. She wasn't so queasy in the mornings anymore and didn't seem so tired.**

** How could he ever regret what had happened? Because of it, he was married to the only woman he would ever love and they were having a baby. A very loved and wanted baby. He kissed her gently on the lips.**

** "I love you, _querida_."**

** "I love you, _querido_," she murmured sleepily. She snuggled up against him and he cradled her in his arms.**

** Z Z Z**

**MID-APRIL 1826**

** "Felipe, did you hear that?" Ana Maria pushed on his arm, trying to wake him up. But he was already awake.**

** "_Si_," he replied then groaned and brought his pillow over his head. He and Don Alejandro had stayed up late, playing chess and drinking wine. He and Ana Maria had been at the de la Vega hacienda for five days and everyone was impatiently awaiting the birth of Diego and Victoria's child.**

** The sound of more slamming doors drew their attention. What _was_ going on? he wondered, pulling the pillow off his face.**

** "Let's go see," suggested his wife. She sat up and searched for her robe as he did the same. Glancing out the window, he could tell it was nearly dawn.**

** Felipe had to stifle a yawn as he and Ana Maria walked out into the hallway. A very agitated Diego was pacing back and forth in front of his and Victoria's bedroom door.**

** "What's wrong?" Ana Maria queried, placing her hand on his arm. "Is it the baby?"**

** Diego stared at them for a moment, not really seeing them. Then he realized his daughter-in-law had asked him a question and nodded.**

** Don Alejandro came bustling down the corridor. "I've sent Paco to go fetch the doctor." Noticing his son's panicked state, he put a firm hand on his shoulder. "Diego, she'll be fine. You've said yourself she's the bravest, most courageous woman you've ever known. She's a fighter. Both she and baby will come through this just fine, you'll see."**

** His father's words did nothing to calm Diego's racing heart and churning stomach. "She's never done this before." He looked at all of them with haunted eyes. "I can't lose her. Not like this."**

** Felipe and the elder de la Vega realized that Diego was reliving his mother's death. She had died of complications from childbirth and his little sister had died as well. Some of the things that his adopted father had mentioned to him the last few days had the young man thinking that Diego was more traumatized by it than he was letting on.**

** _Dios_, if something did happen to Victoria or the baby, the man would go totally mad. Felipe reached for Ana Maria's hand and gave it a squeeze, knowing if anything happened to her or their _niño_, he probably would too. He shut his eyes and prayed.**

** "Why can't I be with her?" Diego demanded to know. "Maria has no right to keep me out. I'm the father... That's my child too."**

** His father gripped Diego's shoulder. "This is why you can't be in there. You're hysterical." He turned to Felipe. "See if you can calm him down."**

** The young man nodded. "Come on." He pulled on his father's arm.**

** "I can check on Victoria," Ana Maria suggested helpfully. "Maria will surely let me in." She patted her own rounded abdomen. She knocked on the bedroom door. "It's Ana Maria, may I come in?"**

** The de la Vega housekeeper opened the door a crack and peered out. "Only you," she said in a voice that brooked no argument. The young woman slipped in and the door was firmly shut behind her. The men could hear the lock being turned on the other side.**

** The latch turned again and Ana Maria peeked out. "Everything's fine," she informed them. "The pains are four minutes apart. It will be awhile yet, Maria says." She glanced at her husband and mouthed, "I love you."**

** He soundlessly said the same to her. Then he grabbed Diego's arm again. "Come on, let's go outside."**

** Don Alejandro aided Felipe in dragging the worried father-to-be out into the courtyard. The old don produced three cigars and he and his grandson quickly lit theirs. Diego looked at his like he expected it to bite him.**

** "Here, light it," his father offered, holding out a match. "It will help calm your nerves." He put the flame to the end of the cheroot as Diego tentatively brought it to his lips and inhaled, causing it to ignite.**

** He exhaled quickly, sputtering and choking. "_Dios mio_, how can you stand it?" he inquired as he watched his father and son smoking theirs without any trouble.**

** The other two men just looked at each other and shrugged. At least it was taking his mind off what going on inside the hacienda. Diego stared at his cigar for several minutes before trying it again. This time he didn't draw on it as strongly, but he still hacked and gagged.**

** "Her pains started last night at dinner," he commented suddenly. "She didn't say a word to me. Told me this morning she wanted everyone to get a good night's sleep. Some other rubbish about first babies taking a long time. She probably still wouldn't have told me if her water hadn't broke half an hour ago." He leaned down and held his head in his hands. Then he unconsciously took another drag off the cheroot, barely coughing as he blew out the smoke.**

** "She knew you would react like this," Don Alejandro stated. "She's not stupid, Son. She knows what happened with your mother."**

** Diego glanced sharply at his father. How could he speak of it so casually? His mother's death had been the most devastating occurrence of his life. Then he noticed the glimmer of tears in the old don's eyes.**

** "Diego, Victoria is not Felicidad," he declared. "Your mother had been affected by your birth. Of course we didn't know then it was because she had had twins." He had to suppress the white-hot rage that burned in his soul every time he thought of Ynez Risendo and the unforgivable crime she had committed against his family. Snatching their son and filling his head with lies, damaging him so badly that all he could feel was vengeance and hate.**

** Sighing wearily, he continued. "It was a long time before she could conceive again." He looked his son in the eye. "You never knew about the miscarriages. She would be so happy for a few months then she'd lose the baby." It had been hard on both of them. She had wanted another child so badly. And it nearly killed him every time she had been disappointed. Her sadness had been almost too much to bear.**

** "And then she finally carried a baby for nine months. It was difficult for her but she was so determined. You know the rest of the story." Ah, but he doesn't, a little voice in the back of his head reminded him. And he hopefully never will, thought Don Alejandro, fiercely squelching his tormented conscience.**

** "How many_ niños_ did she...?"**

** "Four."**

** "Four?" Diego forced himself to breath. To think he could have had so many brothers and sisters. He remembered the tiny _niña_ who had been buried with his mother. In their grief and despair, the little girl had never been named.**

** Felipe sat silently, absently smoking his cigar. He wasn't sure if he should be hearing all this. Then he remembered he was a part of this family, a de la Vega. The two older men knew whatever they said in confidence would stay that way when he was listening as well. Some things might be mentioned to their wives, but never to anyone outside the family. It was part of their code of honor.**

** The sound of a horse and carriage drawing up in front of the hacienda gained all the men's attention. Doctor Hernandez had arrived.**

** Z Z Z**


	4. Chapter Four

**CHAPTER FOUR**

** It was nearly half an hour later before the doctor emerged from the bedroom. He was smiling. "Everything is progressing normally, Don Diego. It won't be long now."**

** "Is she all right? Can I see her?"**

** "I don't think that would be a good idea," Hernandez replied with a chuckle. "She's not feeling too kindly towards you right now."**

** He patted Diego on the shoulder. The doctor then re-entered the bedroom, once again firmly closing the door. Diego looked at his father with bewildered eyes.**

** "I imagine she's not too happy about the condition you got her in," the elder de la Vega explained with a grin. A loud cry from inside the room interrupted anything that might have been said.**

** "_Madre de Dios_," Diego uttered in alarm. His Victoria was suffering, was enduring so much pain and it was his fault. He swore he'd never make her go through this again. Then he realized how stupid that vow was. It would mean he could never make love to her again. There would be no point in living anymore if that were the case. And he thought, a smile touching his lips for the first time in hours, that she would not agree to such a pledge, no matter how much agony she was going through at the moment.**

** Several more howls echoed through the hacienda. Then about fifteen minutes later, there was a new sound, like the wail of a small infant.**

** The men in the hallway all stared at each other. Diego rushed to the door and uncharacteristically swore when it would not open. He stepped back as the knob turned from the other side and Ana Maria came out.**

** Felipe was immediately concerned. His wife was wide-eyed and trembling, like she was scared to death. But then he looked at her mouth. Her smile was so big her face could hardly contain it.**

** "It's a boy," she announced. She glanced up at her father-in-law. "You'd better get in there. She wants to see you."**

** Diego didn't need to be told twice. He flung open the door and raced to his wife's side. He paused though as he gazed down at her. _Dios_, she was so beautiful, even though her face and hair were drenched in sweat and her eyes were tired and full of fading pain.**

** "Diego," she smiled up at him. He knelt down beside the bed and took her hand, placing a kiss upon it. Then he noticed the small bundle in her arms. A very red faced little fellow, his eyes scrunched closed against the light, was wrapped up in a blanket.**

** "A son?" He reached out at finger and touched the little boy's face. Then he looked at Victoria. "Everything is all right?"**

** "We're both fine, Diego," she reassured him as she stroked his cheek. She lifted the baby up. "Here, go show your father."**

** Diego's hands were shaking as he took the infant from her. He held him close and the niño opened his eyes and seemingly stared at his father. "A son," he repeated in awe. Glancing once more at Victoria, Diego carried the baby to the doorway.**

** "Let me see that grandson of mine," Don Alejandro said boisterously. The sound of his voice startled the infant and he began to squall. The old don just laughed, took him from Diego and began rocking him back and forth.**

** Felipe and Ana Maria also peered at the baby, then looked at each and smiled. In less than six months, it would be their child in their arms. Felipe embraced his wife tightly. "Are you all right?" he whispered in her ear. She nodded, still a little dazed by what she had witnessed.**

** "I won't be so scared when my time comes," she murmured. "Felipe, I love you."**

** "I love you too, _querida,_" he replied, placing his hand on her belly. He glimpsed over at his father who was once more cradling his son in his arms. Diego noticed his regard and a look of apology crossed his face.**

** Felipe knew what the older man was thinking, that he was jealous of the love Diego was showing toward his new son. The young man let his father know he couldn't be more wrong in his assumption by grinning broadly and winking. A wave of relief washed over Diego's face before he carried the baby back to his mother, who was waiting anxious for her son's return.**

** Z Z Z**

** Alfonso Alejandro Diego de la Vega did his best to keep everyone awake that night. His loud hungry cries could be heard throughout the hacienda about every two hours.**

** The day had been spent marveling at the new arrival. Diego would only leave Victoria and Alfonso to fetch the new mother something to eat or drink. By mid-afternoon, while Felipe and Ana Maria were chatting with the older couple, Victoria mouthed to Felipe, "Take him somewhere," then rolled her eyes.**

** "Diego, I want to show you something," the young man said, suppressing a smile. Obviously Diego was getting on her nerves, being overprotective and a little too helpful.**

** "Can't it wait until later?" his father asked.**

** "No, come on."**

** Felipe tugged on the older man's arm and led him from the bedroom. Diego cast one last glance at his wife and child before exiting through the door.**

** He was surprised as their journey took them to the library where Felipe tripped the mantle switch. He ducked as he passed through the opened panel. Turning around, he saw that Diego was not following. "Come on." He motioned with his hand.**

** Diego shrugged and went in after the young man. "What's so important it couldn't wait?" he asked.**

** "I think you were in danger of being strangled," Felipe replied, no longer able to contain his mirth. "You're driving Victoria crazy."**

** Diego was indignant. "I am not," he disagreed. "I'm just making sure she has everything she needs and that the baby is all right and..." He stopped, then laughed. "You're right. I probably am."**

** The cave looked the same as it always had except for one change. Toronado no longer was kept there. He was now stabled with the other de la Vega horses. And he had become quite the 'ladies' man'. All the local horse ranchers wanted him to breed with their mares. Even some as far away as Santa Barbara and San Diego were interested in his services.**

** The black clothing that had served as Zorro's disguise still hung on the clothes rack. All the swords and whips still hung on the wall. Diego's laboratory was still bubbling and boiling away.**

** The two men spent about an hour working off their excess energy by engaging in a little swordplay. Both had kept up their skill with a blade. Afterwards Felipe immediately went to seek out Ana Maria as Don Alejandro drew Diego's attention.**

** She was in the bedroom yet with Victoria and Alfonso. Victoria was asleep, taking a well-earned nap. Ana Maria sat in a rocking chair, holding the newborn and singing to him softly.**

** A huge lump formed in Felipe's throat and tears came to his eyes. She was so beautiful. He couldn't think of what he had done to deserve her. Sure, he had rescued her from that bully Quiñones, but any gentleman would have done that. It wasn't long after that incident that he knew what she felt for him wasn't just gratitude.**

** Nor was it pity. She had accepted his supposed deafness and lack of speech without reservation. He remembered how eagerly she mastered the sign language system he and Diego had devised. She had even learned how to read lips.**

** Ana Maria looked up him then and smiled. He could see the tears shimmering in her eyes as well. He went over and knelt down beside the chair, then kissed her gently on the mouth.**

** "Can I?" he asked as he held out his hands. She placed the baby in his arms. Felipe stood and gazed upon his little brother.**

** "Alfonso," he said. "You are a very lucky little boy. You have the best father in the world. And no one could have a better mother." 'Except our baby,' he mouthed to Ana Maria who smiled at him affectionately.**

** The infant stared at him solemnly. Felipe kissed his forehead as Diego came into the room after he had paused in the doorway while his son spoke.**

** "Shh..." Victoria cautioned him quietly. She too had heard what the young man had said.**

** Felipe didn't realize he had an audience. "And one day, Alfonso, when you're a little older, your big brother will tell you all about the legendary fox of Los Angeles." He kissed the _niño_ again. "We are both lucky, little brother," he whispered as he closed his eyes. "Very lucky."**

** Z Z Z**

** Felipe and Ana Maria were lying on the bed in his old room later that night, listening to the tiny infant across the hall crying lustily. He was stroking his wife's stomach, loving to feel the swell of it in his hands.**

** "We haven't discussed names yet," Ana Maria stated. She loved the touch of her husband's hands on her burgeoning belly. She was so glad he wasn't resentful that she had gotten pregnant. She had heard so many stories of men who had felt trapped by such an event, men like her father. But not Felipe. He had been shocked at first, of course. So had she. But that had worn off quickly and he was as happy about the upcoming baby as she was.**

** "Diego, if it's a boy," replied Felipe decisively. She smiled as she knew that would be his choice.**

** "I was thinking Rosa if it is a girl," she said. "That was my grandmother's name."**

** A cloud passed over Felipe's face then. He had no knowledge of his grandparents' names or even his parents' for that matter. All he could remember was that he called them 'Mama' and 'Papa'. But the name Rosa roused up something inside him. Had that been his mother's name? It made him sad to think he would never know.**

** Ana Maria was concerned when she saw the sorrow on his face. "What's wrong, _querido_?" she asked.**

** "Nothing, _querida_," he answered with a smile. "I like Rosa. That would be a beautiful name for our daughter." He pulled her to him and kissed her tenderly.**

** A week later, the young couple stood as godparents for little Alfonso as he was baptized at the Mission church. They were to return to Santa Paula the next day as Felipe's two weeks of leave were nearly over. He had to be back at Don Ernesto's office on Monday morning.**

** The baptism was held on Saturday afternoon and a large celebration was held after at the tavern. Victoria had recovered rapidly from her son's birth but was trying to do too much too soon in Diego's opinion. Felipe could see many clashes ahead for them because of his father's overprotectiveness and Victoria's independent streak. He almost wished he could be around to witness them. Their quarrels were actually quite amusing to anyone who knew them as he did.**

** Felipe and Ana Maria arrived home early Sunday evening. He insisted that she rest as soon as they walked in the door of their little house. She willingly obeyed. The journey had worn her out even though they had stopped along the way and had a picnic lunch. She had also taken a little nap then.**

** She was lying on their bed when Felipe brought their luggage into the room. She smiled as he starting putting things away in the drawers and the tiny closet. Unlike Victoria, she didn't mind all the things her husband did for her. A wave of fatigue washed over her as she relaxed into the soft mattress.**

** Then she put a hand to her abdomen. "Felipe," she exclaimed excitedly.**

** He immediately rushed over to her side. "What's wrong? Is it the baby?" _Oh Dios, no_, he prayed fervently.**

** She grabbed his hand and put it where her hand had been. "Wait," she cautioned mysteriously. Anxious with worry, he did as she bid.**

** About a minute or so later, he felt a tiny flutter, so inconspicuous he thought he might have imagined it. He looked at Ana Maria in amazement. "Was that...?"**

** She smiled and nodded her head.**

** _Madre de Dios_. He really was going to be a father.**

** Z Z Z**

** After they had been home about a week, Felipe and Juan had to go to the pueblo of Santa Ynez to witness a will for an elderly client. The caballero in question changed his will at least once a year and Don Ernesto felt confident in sending his two apprentices to handle it. It usually just consisted of cutting out one son in favor of the other. But because of the distance between the two pueblos and the old don's long-winded complaints of the son he was disinheriting, the budding lawyers would have to stay the night and return home the next morning.**

** Felipe was apprehensive about leaving Ana Maria alone overnight. It would be the first since they were married that they would have to spend a night apart. The previous evening had been filled with kisses and caresses that led to the inevitable lovemaking. It hadn't been enough to cool their ardor though as that morning before he left, Ana Maria gave him a send-off he would never forget.**

** "Hurry home," she had murmured in his ear as they embraced on the front steps.**

** "I'll miss you, _querida,_" he whispered back. "Take care." Then he patted her stomach. "Rosita too."**

** She smiled at his certainty that their child was a girl. 'One that looks just like her mama,' he had requested. "I will," she replied, kissing him. "I love you."**

** "I love you too." Hugging her tightly, he then reluctantly let go and walked down the path through the garden. She waved goodbye as he turned around every few feet and waved back to her.**

** When he finally disappeared from her view, she went back inside the little cottage. She rubbed at the pain in her back absentmindedly. It had been nagging her off and on for a couple of days. She hadn't said anything to Felipe about it because she wasn't really concerned. Victoria had said her back hurt, especially the last three months before Alfonso was born.**

** Ana Maria just shrugged and went to get her market basket as it was the day the _mercado_ was set up in the pueblo's plaza.**

** Felipe arrived back in Santa Paula early in the afternoon the next day. Don Ernesto had given Juan and him the rest of the day off and he had eagerly headed home. Just one night away from his _querida_ and he was missing her terribly.**

** "Ana Maria? I'm home," he announced as he rushed through the front door. "Ana?"**

** Z Z Z**

** Much later that evening, he sat down at the little desk in the corner of the sitting room. Drawing out a sheet of paper, he dipped a quill and began to write. He had only penned a few lines when he had to put down the writing instrument and bury his head in his arms. Heart wrenching sobs filled the room.**

** _Dearest Mother and Father_**

**_ This is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to tell you._**   
**_ Even more so than when I had to tell you the opposite was true._**

**_ We are no longer having a baby._**

** Z Z Z**


	5. Chapter Five

**CHAPTER FIVE**

** It was hard not to keep reliving the nightmare that had become his reality. When Ana Maria hadn't immediately answered his greeting, he assumed she was out somewhere, perhaps at one of the neighbors. She had been bartering her sewing skills with many of them in exchange for fresh fruit and vegetables, milk, eggs and other items. Señora Guevara did their laundry while Ana Maria was making dresses for the woman's six granddaughters.**

** Because of her thrifty bargaining, they had barely touched the money Don Alejandro had deposited in the Santa Paula bank for them to draw upon. Felipe didn't like using it anymore than they had to anyway. He already felt so beholden to Diego and Don Alejandro.**

** He went into the kitchen to get something to drink. As he reached for a glass from the cupboard, he noticed a dark stain on the floor. Instantly he became concerned. Ana Maria was such a tidy homemaker, she never would have left such a mess uncleaned.**

** He knelt down beside it and touched his hand to it. _Oh Dios_, it was blood. Felipe panicked for a few moments before taking a deep breath. Was she hurt? What had happened?**

** "Ana Maria!" he called out anxiously. "_Querida_, are you..." His voice trailed off as he saw more drops of the crimson liquid leading to their bedroom.**

** His head was a blur as he rushed through the tiny house. "Ana Maria!" He came to an abrupt halt in the doorway of the room they shared. She was lying on the floor, her hands cradling her abdomen. She wasn't moving though, and her skin was deathly white.**

** _NO! Oh Dios, por favor! No!_ He fell on both knees by her side. Frantically searching for a pulse, he felt it beating, although very weakly. He glanced down at her stomach and saw just below it a bright red stain on her dress. Why was she bleeding? Had she been injured? How long had she been like this? he wondered frantically.**

** A doctor, his terrified brain told him, get a doctor. But he didn't want to leave her. Making up his mind suddenly, he ran out of the house and to the Guevaras'. The señora was always home, doing laundry for just about everyone in the pueblo to make extra money.**

** "Señora!" he shouted as he charged into the backyard where she did her work. "We need a doctor. Ana Maria is... She's..."**

** The older woman promptly stopped what she was doing. "What's wrong?" she asked as she came towards him.**

** "Need the doctor," Felipe gasped out. "There's blood. I don't know what's wrong." He shut his eyes against the tears that were threatening to fall.**

** Señora Guevara was grim faced. "I'll go fetch him. You go back to Ana Maria." She didn't want to tell the distraught young man before her the truth. It was probably already too late for a physician to help his wife. She felt very sad for the young couple. They had been so happy about the coming child. Ana Maria had just confided in her last week that she was expecting.**

** It was an hour later before the doctor emerged from the bedroom followed by the stoic neighbor woman. "Is she all right?" Felipe asked worriedly. "Can I see her? Is the baby...?"**

** The physician, Doctor Gomez, put his hand on the young man's shoulder. "Son," he said in a tone that Felipe dreaded. "The baby is gone. Your wife, she'll be fi..."**

** "No!" Felipe lashed out, shrinking from the man's touch. "It's not true. We felt it, we felt it kicking."**

** "How far along was she?" questioned Gomez curiously. He, like everyone else, knew the couple had married only two months ago. They shouldn't have been able to feel movement yet if she were only a few weeks pregnant. He had suspected she had been more than that though after his examination.**

** "Four months," Felipe revealed in anguish. He held his head in his hands as he collapsed to a crouching position. "No, no," he kept repeating as he rocked back and forth.**

** He remained that way for several minutes before he shot up to his feet again and pushed his way past the doctor and the señora. He opened the bedroom door and hurried to the sleeping woman lying so still on the bed. Reaching for her hand, he brought it to his lips, then stroked her face.**

** "_Querid_a," he whispered gently. "Oh, Ana."**

** Her eyelids fluttered open as he buried his face into the quilt beside her. She placed her hand on his dark hair. This drew his attention and he raised up his head to gaze at her.**

** "Felipe, what...?" she queried, the confusion obvious in her eyes. It became even more so when she noticed the two other people standing just beyond her teary-eyed husband.**

** Then she remembered. The cramping pains this morning as she had been making herself some breakfast. The warm sticky feeling between her legs that had turned out to be blood. She had been so scared. Deciding to go lie down, she had only made it through the bedroom door when a sharp pain brought her to her knees. It had been followed by several more until she finally passed out.**

** She could tell by everyone's expression what she had feared was true. She had lost the baby. "Oh Felipe, I'm so sorry," she whispered.**

** "Shh.. It's not your fault, _querid_a," he tried to comfort her. He gathered her into his arms, trying to transfer some of his strength to her. She looked so fragile, so pale.**

** The doctor touched his hand to Felipe's shoulder again. "She'll be fine," he commented. "She needs to stay in bed for a week. Then light activity for about a month." He paused as Felipe looked up at him. "No marital relations for two months," he prescribed. Seeing the stunned dismay on the young man's face, he added, "She's young and strong. But she does need time to heal. Give her that time."**

** Felipe nodded. Making love to her was the last thing on his mind right now anyway. He did want to do something, however, to erase that haunted look from her eyes. He just didn't know what it would be.**

** Señora Guevara fixed them some supper before she had to go home to take care of her own family. Ana Maria just stared at the bowl of soup, tears silently sliding down her face.**

** "Please, Ana," Felipe urged gently. "You need to eat."**

** "I can't," she murmured. "I'm so sorry."**

** He took her tray away and then held her close. "It's not your fault," he reiterated. "Please..."**

** She pulled back from his embrace. "I'm sorry." Ana Maria turned her face away and closed her eyes. "I'm tired. I want to sleep now."**

** "All right, _querida_." Felipe bent down to kiss her goodnight but she moved so he only grazed her cheek. He stayed by her side, holding her hand and stroking her black curls as she fell asleep.**

** It occurred to Felipe about an hour later he should write to Diego and Victoria and also to Leonora. He carried the untouched food into the kitchen before heading to the little desk in the corner of the sitting room.**

** Z Z Z**

** Ana Maria didn't seem to get any better, even after spending a week in bed. She wouldn't eat, not much anyway and that made Felipe worry. She was slender to begin with, now she was almost skin and bones. When she wasn't sleeping, she would just lie there, tears silently rolling down her face. She refused to do any sewing, reading or anything else to pass the time.**

** Don Ernesto had given Felipe the week off so he could care for Ana Maria. The young man had been loath to ask for more time away from his apprenticeship but there wasn't really anyone else to stay with his wife. Their neighbors were all busy people, with their own families to tend. The young couple's relatives were all in Los Angeles. Victoria had just had a baby and Señora Ortega had her business to run, which she depended on for her livelihood.**

** Several of the neighbor women brought them food. That was one area where Felipe was at a loss. Maria had been a veritable dragon in the de la Vega kitchen and the young man had learned early on to stay out of her way there.**

** Felipe was still apprehensive about returning to work after that first week. Ana Maria insisted that he do so. "Please, Felipe, I'll be all right," she had promised him. "You shouldn't miss any more of your training on my account." She touched his face briefly. "I'll be fine."**

** Felipe knew she was lying. She obviously was not well at all. Her weight loss and the dark circles under her eyes attested to that. But he did not know what else to do. "Very well, _querida_," he acquiesced reluctantly.**

** He arranged for either Señora Guevara or Señora Romero to check on her twice a day. He himself would come home for lunch everyday.**

** Ana Maria would be lying in bed when he left in the morning, would still be there when he came home at noon and in the evening. Her face would be wet with the tears she had spent all day crying.**

** It was breaking his heart. He was hurting too over the loss of the _niño_. He recalled the look on Don Alejandro's face when he had spoken of his wife's miscarriages and knew he wore the same grim expression on his. And Ana Maria was keeping all her pain to herself. The few times he had tried to discuss it with her, she had burst into tears and turned away from him.**

** He wished she would share her misery with him. Then maybe they could get through this together.**

** Z Z Z**

** A month had passed since the miscarriage. Felipe finally managed to write to his parents and Ana Maria's mother informing them of the news. He never did show their replies to his wife, just reading her the parts where they prayed she was well and that they loved her.**

** He could hardly bring himself to read the letters. He didn't know which one was worse, Diego's missive expressing his and Victoria's regrets that was also filled with Alfonso's latest antics, or the one from Leonora. 'Perhaps it was for the best', she had written.**

** How could the loss of their child be a good occurrence? he wondered incredulously. They had both loved the baby, had been eagerly looking forward to its birth. _Dios,_ they had even picked out names. And now his Ana had sunk into a deep depression and he feared for her health. He would never understand how this could possibly 'be for the best'.**

** Gone was the happy, loving young woman Ana Maria had once been. Felipe missed that girl, the one he had fallen in love with. The one who had been so passionate in his arms. He knew what they had was special. But now it had seemed to have disappeared.**

** She had finally arisen from their bed. She had even picked up her needle again, catching up with all the garments and things she had promised to others. But there was no joy in her work like before. She gradually resumed doing the cooking and cleaning but again with no enthusiasm.**

** Felipe did notice she was gaining some of the weight back she had lost. But he still was worried. Her eyes were so desolate. She cringed away from his touch. His twenty-second birthday had come and gone with no mention of it from her. He recalled the party she had thrown for him last year when he had been in jail, accused of murder. The contrast was hard to understand.**

** He spent more time at work, trying to make up for all the training he had missed. Several nights a week, he and Juan would go to the tavern to play chess and smoke cigars. Most of the time, he would come home late to find she didn't even realize he had been out.**

** He had returned home from one such evening to a dark house. _Madre de Dios_, where had she gone? he thought in a panic. Then he heard a noise in the spare bedroom. Cautiously opening its door, he saw Ana Maria sitting on the floor next to a trunk. Scattered all around her were the little baby clothes she had so lovingly stitched. He stared in alarm as he noticed they were all shredded into pieces.**

** She was slashing at a tiny nightdress with a pair of gold scissors. Felipe reached out and grabbed the shears from her hand. "_Querida_, why?" he asked pleadingly. He couldn't understand why she would destroy all her hard work like this.**

** Ana Maria gazed up at him, but he could tell she wasn't really seeing him. The sorrow in her eyes pierced his heart like a knife. She blinked, then the tears began to flow.**

** "Oh, Felipe, I'm so sorry," she said as she collapsed into his arms. "I'm so, so sorry."**

** He held her close and stroked her back. This was the first time she had let him touch her in over a month. "Shh.. It's all right," he tried to comfort her. "It's not your fault, Ana Maria".**

** "But it is," she murmured quietly. Then she abruptly pushed him away. "No, don't touch me." Getting to her feet, she ran to their bedroom, slamming the door behind her. Felipe arrived just in time to hear the lock turn.**

** He tapped urgently on the door. "Ana, please," he begged. "Let me in." He shut his eyes as he realized he meant more than just her allowing him into the room. He wanted her to let him back into her heart She was retreating from him, to a dark place that frightened him tremendously.**

** Sighing, Felipe walked back into the other bedroom. He picked up all the damaged clothing strewn on the floor. Staring at the tiny garments in his hands, he sank down to the floor and buried his face in them as tears of pain began streaming from his eyes.**

** Z Z Z**

** The next day was a Saturday. Felipe had spent the night in the spare room since she never unlocked the door until she came out to make breakfast. She barely said two words to him all morning. So he was quite surprised when she approached him after lunch.**

** "I want to go to Confession," she announced. Felipe was even more stunned. She hadn't left the house since they had lost the baby. What had brought on this decision? he wondered.**

** "All right, _querida_," he agreed. He set aside the book he had been reading and stood. Maybe she would feel better if she could unburden some of the guilt he knew she was feeling. Unnecessary guilt, as she was not to blame for what happened. But no matter how many times he told her that, she shook her head in disagreement.**

** They made their way to the church and waited with the other parishioners for their turn in the confessional. Padre Flores was not nearly as benevolent as Padre Benitez. His homilies were full of references to hell and damnation, quite a contrast from Padre Benitez' ones of love and peace. The good priest of Los Angeles had been very understanding both times Felipe had confessed to making love with Ana Maria before they were married. 'The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak', he had quoted before administering the young man a hefty penance.**

** Felipe wondered if he should write to Padre Benitez to ask for his wise counsel to help him with the situation he was now in with Ana Maria. It was becoming more and more obvious she was balancing on the edge of sanity. He didn't want to confide in Diego, not wishing to spoil his happiness. Don Alejandro, perhaps, would understand. But there too, Felipe didn't want to inflict more pain by making the elder de la Vega dredge up sorrowful memories. Her mother, of course, was out of the question as a source of guidance.**

** It was finally Ana Maria's turn and she entered the small booth. She was in there about five minutes when suddenly her voice shouted, "_Oh Dios mio!_" The curtain was ripped open and she ran out, her hand covering her mouth. Felipe immediately jumped up and followed after her.**

** He found her in front of the church steps, retching and crying. "_Querida_, what happened?" he asked as he knelt down beside her and held her shoulders.**

** She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as she stared at him. Then she realized he had his hands on her. "No!" she exclaimed. "Don't touch me!" She wrenched herself from his grasp and took off again, this time heading toward their home.**

** Felipe just watched as she disappeared around a corner. What was wrong? What had happened to cause her to react so violently? He closed his eyes as he faced the terrible truth.**

** His beloved Ana Maria was descending into madness.**

** Z Z Z**


	6. Chapter Six

**CHAPTER SIX**

****

**MID-JUNE 1826******

** "Felipe, I want you to meet Señor Pedro Ybarra," Don Ernesto said, indicating the man at his side. The señor was a peasant in his late forties, with a lined face and troubled eyes. "This is Felipe de la Vega, one of my apprentices."******

** "_Buenos dias_," Felipe greeted the other man as he shook his hand. He looked from the farmer to his employer questioningly.******

** "De la Vega?" Señor Ybarra asked with curious excitement. "You are not the one who was Z...?"******

** "No." The young man quickly disabused the man of that notion. "That was my father."******

** "Señor Ybarra is here on behalf of himself and several other freeholders," Don Ernesto stated. "They have concerns that their property lines are being encroached.******

** "_Si_, that is correct," the man agreed. "It seems like every time I ride out to check the fences, they have moved. Several other farmers have noticed the same thing happening on their holdings. My _amigo_, Ricardo Vargas, he found some unfilled holes where his fence used to be. It was moved at least 10 meters."******

** "That's outrageous," declared Felipe. He now knew why Don Ernesto was giving him this assignment. This was the kind of law he wished to practice, to fight injustice and right wrongs.******

** Don Ernesto glanced at Felipe. "Do you think you can help Señor Ybarra and the other farmers?"******

** The young man nodded. "I will certainly try." He had to suppress a smile. This was the sort of thing Zorro had fought against all the time. Helping these freeholders should be an easy task.******

** Calderon handed him a piece of paper then clapped him on the shoulder. "_Bueno_. Let me know if you need any assistance." He turned to leave.******

** Felipe sat down at the table and invited the farmer to do the same. "Do you have a copy of your property deed?"******

** "_Si_, right here." Ybarra withdrew a well-worn piece of parchment from his waistband. Felipe took the paper and perused it carefully. He didn't like what he saw.******

** "Señor," he began, "forgive me, but can you read? Do you know what this says?" He was sure of what the answer would be. The man had signed the document with an 'X', meaning he couldn't even write his own name.******

** "No," the farmer admitted ashamedly. "I cannot read or write."******

** Felipe shook his head. The land had been granted to Señor Ybarra upon the death of his _patron_, Don Enrique Cavallo five years earlier. The caballero had died without heirs so he had given his tenants the acreage they had worked for so many years.******

** But one stipulation was that if the land lay fallow for a period of one year, it could be annexed by the adjoining landowners. Felipe scanned the paper to find out who would benefit from such a provision. There were two names listed, a Don Vicente Murillo and.. Don Lorenzo Salazar?******

** But he had met the man, he was their landlord. How had Salazar and Murillo persuaded Cavallo to add such a devious condition to his will? Instantly Felipe became concerned. What kind of arrangement had Don Lorenzo gotten Don Alejandro to make? The young man hadn't liked the fact that his grandfather had already signed a lease for their house before he could look it over. On the surface, it appeared well enough, thirty pesos a month until the end of the year. Then Felipe and Ana Maria would return to Los Angeles, where he would study for, then take his bar exam.******

** Felipe needed to see that lease. He would have to write to the elder de la Vega as soon as he could. But right now, he had to interpret Señor Ybarra's deed to him. The man's frown grew deeper as Felipe told him just what the document entailed.******

** "But that is not right," Ybarra complained. "I have been using all my land. Nothing has been lying vacant. They are stealing my property."******

** "It would seem so," Felipe agreed. "But right now, it is your word against theirs. We need proof."******

** The farmer looked the young apprentice up and down, taking in the white linen shirt and the green brocade vest Felipe wore. "Why do you want to help us anyway?" he asked a little belligerently. "You are one of them."******

** "No, Señor," the young man disagreed this time. "I was born a peasant, just like you. I learned from my adopted father that all men are created equal, if not in the eyes of the law, then in God's."******

** Señor Ybarra eyed him speculatively. "Your father, he was truly Zorro?"******

** "_Si._"******

** "All right," the older man declared, deciding that this young caballero could be trusted.******

** "I will need to do some investigating," Felipe explained. He held out the parchment. "May I keep this?"******

** "_Si y gracias_." Ybarra stood and shook the hand Felipe extended to him.******

** Felipe sat back down in his chair after the other man had left. Don Ernesto had given him a list of the other freeholders who had complaints against the two dons. He would need to visit all of them and look over their documents and property as well. Speaking with Don Lorenzo probably wouldn't be a bad idea either. He sighed as he thought of all the work ahead of him.******

** At least he didn't have to be so worried about his wife. In the past two weeks since Ana Maria's outburst at the church, she had seemed to calm down. She would talk with him about mundane subjects; the weather, household concerns and the like. She would still shy away from his touch and this concerned him greatly. There were still two weeks left of the abstinence the doctor had imposed. Felipe realized his hopes of them resuming the lovemaking they had shared before the miscarriage were nothing but broken dreams.******

** Most nights he spent in the spare bedroom, especially when he came home late. When he did lie in the same bed as Ana Maria, it felt like torture and he slept poorly. He didn't do so well in the other room either but at least she wasn't lying there beside him, mere inches away and off limits.******

** They had also received a letter from Diego and Victoria saying that they were planning to visit in a month's time. Felipe didn't think it was a good idea, especially since they wanted him and Ana Maria to keep an eye on Alfonso for a few hours on their anniversary. He wasn't sure how Ana Maria would react around the infant. And he didn't really want to find out.******

** He closed his eyes and leaned his head back. He wished he had a cigar, even though he knew he was becoming too dependent on them to relax. He and Juan had to smoke theirs either outside or at the tavern since Don Ernesto had the same attitude towards them as Diego and Ana Maria did.******

** Sighing more wearily than a twenty-two year old man should have to, he rose, intending to get started on the undertaking his _patron_ entrusted him to do.**

** Z Z Z**

****

** Diego walked through the doorway of his and Victoria's bedroom. He stopped in his tracks at the sight of his wife, sitting in the rocking chair, their son at her breast. His greedy suckling made his father smile. Alfonso was such a healthy little lad. It was hard not to be proud of him, although he was a bit envious of the little fellow at the moment.******

** Victoria looked up at him and smiled. He then remembered why he had sought her out. Removing the letter from its envelope, he knelt down beside her.******

** "It's from Felipe," he answered the question he saw in her eyes. "He doesn't think our going to Santa Paula next month is a good idea."******

** "Why?" asked Victoria. "Is something wrong?"******

** Diego shook his head. "He doesn't mention anything significant." He glanced up at his beautiful wife. "I think maybe they are still recovering from their loss. Seeing Alfonso might not be the best thing for them."******

** Victoria scanned the letter then looked up at her husband in dismay. "I think you're right. There's a lot he's not saying, isn't there?" She handed the missive back to Diego.******

** He smiled wryly at his wife's perceptiveness. That was the impression he got as well. Something was very wrong with his son's life. The unhappiness of it was clearly written between the lines of the short note Felipe had penned.******

** "Ana Maria hasn't written to me since before.. it happened," Victoria stated. The last letter she had received from her 'sister' had been so full of hope and joy about the baby. She imagined the young woman was devastated.******

** "I wonder if I should go by myself," Diego mused aloud. "Maybe he would confide in me face to face." He hated the idea of leaving his wife and child for even a few days. But his oldest son was hurting and what kind of father would he be if he didn't try to help him?******

** The same thoughts were going through Victoria's head. "I think you should," she concurred. "Although I did have my heart set on spending our first anniversary in Santa Paula."******

** Diego kissed her petulant lips. "You were just looking forward to a certain outlaw's visit, don't deny it," he declared with a laugh as she was about to do just that. Zorro did not ride out anymore to fight criminals and injustice, but he did call on a certain señora from time to time. And he hadn't been able to visit her for two months since she was recovering from the birth of their child.******

** He bent down to whisper in her ear. "Perhaps he could call on you tonight, Señora de la Vega?"******

** Victoria chuckled. "But what would my husband think?"******

** "I don't think he would mind, do you?"******

** "No." Victoria laughed. Actually she would have welcomed him several weeks ago but Diego had insisted on waiting the entire two months the doctor prescribed. She kissed him eagerly.******

** It took several minutes for Diego to regain his senses. He recalled the letter he held in his hand. "I think I'll go next week," he decided. "Father should be back from the cattle drive then."******

** Victoria nodded then glanced down at Alfonso. He had fallen asleep, her nipple still in his mouth. She gazed at her husband and smiled.******

** He had to grin as well. Lifting the baby from her arms, he put him over his shoulder and gently patted his son's back until the desired belch was produced. Diego then placed Alfonso in his cradle. Victoria joined him as they both watched their little son sleep. Then they looked at each other and embraced, realizing how very lucky they were.**

** Z Z Z**

****

** Felipe had had a very busy week. He had spoken with the other five freeholders on his list. They all had land grants similar to the one Señor Ybarra first showed him. He had ridden the property lines bordering Don Lorenzo's rancho with the men. Except for a couple of holes on Señor Vargas' land, there was no evidence that the fences had been altered.******

** This was going to be harder than he thought. He realized now how effective the mask had been for Zorro. He could challenge wrongdoers with no fear of retribution. It was quite different trying to fight injustice as a lawyer. Don Lorenzo was his landlord. To be tossed out of their house would be all he and Ana Maria needed. They had enough problems already.******

** Felipe and Juan were riding out to Don Ernesto's hacienda. Once a month their _patron_ and his wife invited them, along with other prominent citizens of the pueblo, to dinner and tonight was that night. Usually Ana Maria attended these gatherings but since the miscarriage, she refused to come with him. But then she rarely went anywhere these days, he mused.******

** He had the feeling that something was about to break between them. Just what, he didn't know. And it frightened him. He groaned as he thought of the morning two days earlier.******

** Felipe had once again spent the night in the spare bedroom. As it had been a Saturday, he was sleeping in a little bit, having been out late the night before with Juan. They had played chess until midnight and probably drank a little more than they should have. His _amigo_ was despairing over getting a certain señorita to notice him. Felipe had met the young lady and didn't know why Juan was being so stupid over her. She was clearly interested in his friend.******

** He had been lying on his stomach when suddenly the door flew open and Ana Maria walked in. "Felipe, I need the bedding," she declared. "Luisa is here for the laundry." She tugged on the cotton sheets and pulled them from his body. Then she gasped in shock.******

** It had been so warm when he had collapsed into bed, Felipe hadn't bothered with his nightclothes. When she withdrew the coverings from him, he had rolled over onto to his back. His arousal was hard to ignore.******

** "What...?" the bleary eyed young man said before focusing on his wife's face. He noted where she was staring and belatedly tried to cover himself with a pillow.******

** "No," Ana Maria said, her eyes never leaving him. "Don't."******

** Felipe was thoroughly confused. "_Querida_?" he queried hopefully. "Do you...?"******

** The rest of his question stuck in his throat as she took a step toward him. He closed his eyes. _Madre de Dios_. He had seen the look on her face, one of longing and desire. He opened his eyes as she took another step. His breathing grew heavy and his heart was pounding. She slowly reached her hand toward him. Then she snatched it back.******

** "No," she moaned as she shook her head. She grabbed the bedding and ran from the room.******

** Felipe groaned at the memory as they arrived at the Calderon hacienda. He didn't know how much more he could take.******

** A servant led Viento and Juan's horse away to the stables as the two young men made their way to the front door. They only had to wait a few moments before the door was opened by another of Don Ernesto's servants. They were ushered inside to the _sala_ where their patron and his other guests had gathered.******

** It felt as though all the air had been sucked from Felipe's lungs. Standing before him was one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen. She had glossy black hair slicked back into a tight bun, which made her almond shaped green eyes even more exotic looking. Her violet-blue dress showed off her voluptuous figure to perfection. Her rosy red mouth was twisted in a bemused smile as she glanced up at him.**   
  
** Felipe couldn't take his eyes from her. She noticed his regard and moistened her luscious lips with the tip of her tongue, letting him know she was interested in him as well.******

** _Oh Dios mio_, he thought.**

** Z Z Z**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Author's note: I want to thank Mysterious Raven & Your Worshipfulness for being such faithful & devoted readers & reviewers. Hope you both enjoy the rest of my little angst filled drama!**   
  
  


**CHAPTER SEVEN**

** "Ah, Felipe," greeted Don Lorenzo when he noticed the newcomers, "may I present my daughter, Sofia. _Hija_, this is Don Felipe de la Vega."**

** Felipe's gaze never left the young woman as she offered him her hand. He nodded as he placed the obligatory kiss upon it. Then he realized what the older man had said.**

** "Just Felipe, _por favor_," he corrected. "I don't use the title." Being considered a de la Vega was enough in his mind, he refused to pretend he was anymore than that.**

** "Very well," Salazar said. "Sofia has just returned home after spending the last six months in Monterey with her aunt." He grimace slightly. Felipe was wondering why he had not met the beautiful temptress before this. The older man then changed the subject, "How is the cottage working out for you and your lovely wife?"**

** Sofia's eyes widened for a moment. Then she shrugged and licked her lips again.**

** It took a great effort for him to reply to her father's question. "F.. Fine, just fine," he managed to say. He had written to Don Alejandro, asking for the copy of the lease but had not heard back from him yet. He never took his eyes off Sofia who was also gazing at him.**

** Juan nudged Felipe in the ribs, breaching his preoccupation with the sultry beauty. "This is Juan Morales," Felipe introduced his companion. "He and I are both apprenticing with Don Ernesto."**

** "Charmed, I'm sure," drawled Sofia in a tone that said otherwise. She proffered her hand to Juan but snatched it back as soon as he had done his duty. The young woman returned her attention to Felipe. Her eyes raked him up and down in such a manner it left him trembling.**

** Sofia arranged it so she and Felipe were seated next to each other when they sat down to supper. She flirted with him throughout the meal. He was extremely flattered this beautiful woman was attracted to him and recklessly encouraged her interest.**

** Felipe ignored the disapproving looks Don Ernesto and Juan flashed his way. Since when had they become his conscience anyway? After everyone had finished eating, the men went outside into the courtyard to smoke their cigars. Juan pulled his _amigo_ aside.**

** "What do you think you are doing?" he asked in a whisper. "What about Ana Maria, your wife, in case you have forgotten?"**

** Felipe pushed him away. "She is my problem, not yours," he retorted angrily, thinking of the cold shoulder his spouse had been giving him for the past two months. He smiled then as he thought of Sofia. "Just having a little harmless fun."**

** "I doubt she would see that way," threatened Juan. His eyes slid to the doorway to the sala where the ladies had gathered. "Sofia Salazar is a barracuda from what I hear. You'd better watch out."**

** "Duly noted," said Felipe. To tell the truth, between a little too much wine and the señorita's attention, his senses were reeling. The rest of the gentleman had finished their cheroots and were heading back inside. Juan gave his friend one last glare before joining them.**

** Felipe was leaning up against a pillar when he heard the swishing sound of a woman's skirts. He turned to see Sofia walking out into the garden. She was smiling radiantly at him.**

** "I hoped I would find you out here," she announced, making her way to him. She placed her small hands on the sleeves of his jacket. "I am not wrong, am I?" She gazed up at him coyly.**

** "A beautiful woman is rarely wrong," he replied, his tongue glib although his mind was fuzzy. He knew he should resist her brazen charms but for the life of him, he couldn't remember why. He took one last drag from his cigar, flicked it into the provided receptacle, then blew a plume of smoke into the air.**

** Sofia stroked the hard muscles of his biceps before moving her hands to his chest. He could feel the heat of them through his fine linen shirt. Taking a deep breath, her feminine scent filled his nose. _ Madre de Dios_, she was intoxicating. And she was his for the taking, he could plainly see that message in her emerald green eyes.**

** "I knew the moment I saw you," stated Sofia seductively, "we were meant to be together."**

** Felipe responded to her declaration by wrapping his arms around her and drawing her close. She was several inches shorter than Ana Maria, he noted absently. _Oh Dios mio_, he thought suddenly. He closed his eyes as he recalled he was married, he had a wife whom he loved very much. He couldn't betray her even if what Sofia was offering was very, very tempting.**

** "Sofia, _por favor_," he pleaded as he retreated from her. "I.. I must be going."**

** She pouted up at him beguilingly. "You know I'm right about us. I want to see you again." She caressed his cheek, causing a moan to escape his lips. It had been so long since he had been touched like this. His befuddled brain was clamoring for him to agree with whatever she wanted him to do.**

** Sofia smiled wickedly, knowing what was going on in the young man's mind. She lowered her hand again to his chest, then grazed his stomach with her fingertips. His desire surged as he took another step back. "I.. I'm very b..busy," he managed to gasp out, breathing heavily. He was using all his self-restraint to keep from ravishing her right there on the courtyard tiles, with his patron and the other guests just on the other side of the curtained doorway.**

** "Too busy to eat?" she queried. "Meet me for lunch tomorrow."**

** "Where?" The question slipped out before Felipe could stop it.**

** "There is an old abandoned barn about a mile south of the pueblo," Sofia informed him. "Be there about noon." She touched his chest again as she perceived his hesitation. "I promise to be a good girl," she said in a voice that suggested otherwise.**

** "Very well," he agreed, knowing that it was a terribly bad idea. "T.. Tomorrow at noon."**

** "_Adios_, Felipe," she murmured as she reached up and kissed him on the mouth. Then just as abruptly, she broke it off and walked away.**

** _Madre de Dios_! Every nerve in Felipe's body was tingling. He remained rooted to the spot where he stood for several minutes before he could safely re-enter the hacienda.**

** Z Z Z**

** Felipe knew he was going to receive a tongue-lashing from Juan on the ride home and he was correct in that assumption. His friend was very disappointed by his actions.**

** "What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked pointedly. "Are you willing to throw away your marriage for sex with that woman?"**

** "No," declared Felipe. "I'm.. I'm going to use to her to get to her father." He had just come up with the idea that moment. He looked over at his _amigo,_ quite pleased with himself. "Don't worry."**

** Juan just shook his head. "I hope you know what you're getting yourself into, Felipe. I grew up here. Sofia is several years younger than I am, but she has a bad reputation where men are concerned. You need to be careful."**

** "I will be," replied Felipe, musing if indeed he was getting in over his head. He was having trouble getting thoughts of the lovely enchantress out of his mind.**

** He arrived home to find Ana Maria in the kitchen, washing the dishes. The overwhelming guilt he felt upon seeing his beautiful wife nearly crushed him. How could he even begin to want another woman? he wondered. Ana Maria was the only woman he would ever love. True, they were going through a bad time right now. But things would have to get better, he hoped and prayed ardently, they just had to.**

** She had her back to him as he came up behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Ana Maria," he said softly.**

** She jumped before turning her head to look at him. "Oh, Felipe, you're home," she stated. "I didn't hear you come in."**

** "Ana," he said, optimistic that she hadn't shrank from his touch. He ran his hand down her arm then back up to her shoulder. His other hand snaked around her waist and he pulled her to him. "I love you, _querida_." He leaned down and placed a kiss just below her ear.**

** She melted into his embrace, moaning as he left a trail of kisses down her neck. Turning so she was facing him, Ana Maria wound her arms around his neck and their mouths met for the first time in nearly two months. This was the woman he married, Felipe thought with elation. It was heaven to have her in his arms again.**

** "I've missed you so much," he murmured against her lips. "_Por favor_..." He left the question unasked, not wishing to frighten her away. Felipe realized she had to be the one to initiate any intimacy. He could not force his desire upon her.**

** "Oh, Felipe," she said again then kissed him even more passionately. She stroked his back as he did the same to hers.**

** His hunger grew as their tongues entwined. _Oh Dios_, he pleaded silently, _please_. His hands grew bolder, one moving up her side and cupping the swell of her breast. Ana Maria moaned at the pleasure his touch caused. They pressed closer together as she pulled his shirt from his trousers.**

** Then her hand accidentally brushed against his hardness. She immediately pushed herself back. "No!" she cried, bringing a hand up to her lips. They both had to catch their breath. "No," reiterated Ana Maria, then she turned and ran from the room. He heard the bedroom door being bolted.**

** Felipe groaned loudly as he kicked a chair to vent his frustration. It clattered loudly as it hit the floor. He couldn't understand the look of terror he had seen in her eyes. Was she afraid of him? Or maybe she was scared of getting pregnant again? Damn it, why wouldn't she tell him what was troubling her?**

** He put the chair upright then shoved it under the table. Felipe stalked out of the house, slamming the door on his way out.**

** Felipe spent the night at the tavern after drinking the better part of a bottle of tequila. And he was paying heavily for his intemperance. His head was buzzing, his stomach burned and the alcohol had done nothing to quench his yearning for Ana Maria. It was hard to concentrate on his work the next morning as images of her kept going through his mind. The upcoming meeting with Sofia didn't help matters either. As the appointed time drew nearer, pictures of the bold young woman began to flash through his brain as well.**

** The young man found the old barn easily. A beautiful palomino mare tethered outside let him know that the señorita had already arrived. Felipe dismounted Viento, tying him to the hitching post. Then taking a deep breath, he entered the abandoned structure.**

** The smell of musty hay assailed him as his eyes adjusted to the dimly lit interior. "Señorita Salazar?" he called out when he didn't immediately see her.**

** He saw a shadow move in one of the stalls. "Over here, Felipe," she invited. He followed the sound of her voice. She was sitting on a bale of straw but stood as he approached. Sofia wore an emerald green riding habit, which clung tightly to her curvaceous body. Felipe's mouth suddenly went dry as she walked up to him. The dècolletè of her blouse left most of her well-endowed bosom exposed.**

** "_Hola_, Felipe," she purred then placed her hands on his arms. "I'm glad you made it."**

** Felipe noticed a basket sitting atop a blanket spread upon the hay covered floor. He sighed with relief as she led him over to it and indicated he should sit down.**

** "De la Vega," she commented idly as she poured him a glass of wine. "You wouldn't happen to be the infamous Zorro...?"**

** "No, that was my father," Felipe answered, a bit peeved. Why did most people assume he had been the masked man? It was starting to get on his nerves.**

** Sofia shrugged nonchalantly. "No matter." She unpacked the rest of the food from the basket.**

** Half an hour later, Felipe was full of the delicious treats she had brought. He drank the last of the liquid from what had been his fourth glass of wine. Sofia surreptitiously had refilled his glass several times so he had more to drink than he thought he had.**

** He was stretched out languidly on the blanket. "Tell me about your father," he said, beginning to implement his plan.**

** Her eyes narrowed. "What is there to tell?" she asked with annoyance. "He is my father. He is rich and powerful and can do whatever he wants." She got to her feet and he did also.**

** Felipe noted the resentment in her voice as she described her paternal parent. It would be perfect for his ploy if she held a grudge against the old man.**

** "I have heard many stories about him," he declared, hoping to draw out more information from her.**

** "And probably all true," she replied. She moved closer to him. "My father is a very wicked man," stated Sofia, stroking his cheek with a delicate finger. "But enough about him. I want to discuss you and I."**

** Felipe closed his eyes and moaned softly as she moved her hands to his chest. Her caresses drove thoughts of anything else from his alcohol addled brain. When her fingers reached the fastenings of his trousers, however, he regained his senses enough to grab her wrist.**

** "I will be honest with you, Sofia," he began, pausing after seeing a flash of venom in her green eyes. Exhaling, he realized he was going to have to play this very carefully. "I.. I need help finding out if your father has done something illegal. I was hoping you could assist me."**

** "My father is always doing something illegal," she declared hotly. "I can help you." She pouted up at him seductively. "But you have to help me with something as well."**

** He knew exactly what kind of 'help' she wanted if the invitation in her eyes was anything to go by. Taking a deep breath, he hoped he was not making the biggest mistake of his life.**

** "Very well, Sofia," he agreed. "I need to learn when and where your father plans to steal the freeholders' property again by moving their fences."**

** "And if I get this information for you?" she inquired, bewitchingly moistening her lips.**

** Felipe shut his eyes and swallowed the guilt of his deception. "Then I.. I will help y.. you with your problem."**

** Sofia smiled triumphantly as she snaked her arms around his neck and brought his face down to hers. She kissed him, thrusting her tongue between his lips. Felipe was trembling with desire when she finally let him go.**

** "Just a little sample of things to come," she drawled coyly. "Meet me here again tomorrow. Same time." She ran her tongue over her lips once more. "I will bring evidence against my father."**

** Felipe brought out his pocket watch to check the time. "I.. I'm sorry, Sofia," he stated. "I.. I have to get b.. back to work." His stutter, which he had thought was cured, seemed to be back with a vengeance.**

** "Until tomorrow then," she murmured as she caressed his cheek again. "_Adios_, Felipe."**

** "_Adios_." He willed himself to exit the barn. _Madre de Dios_, this was probably a very bad idea, he thought as he mounted Viento. He was playing with fire and somehow he had to keep from getting burned by its very alluring flame.**

** Z Z Z**

**Author's Notes: I know Felipe is acting very OOC, but hey, he's drinking too much & he's a horny 22 year old guy. Nuff said!**


	8. Chapter Eight

**Author's notes: No I didn't forget my devoted beta, Epona. Thanks! Because of you, this has become a better story. And to all of you who have read my stories, thank you too!**

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

**The first thing Felipe noticed as he walked into the law office that afternoon was the deep frown on Juan's face. The frown turned to a look of disgust when the other apprentice looked up and saw his friend.**

** "What?" Felipe immediately was on the defensive.**

** Juan reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. "At least wipe off her lip paint from your face," he advised.**

** Felipe ignored the proffered linen and took out his own. Bright red smears appeared after he had rubbed it on his lips and cheeks.**

** "N.. Nothing happened."**

** "Kissing her was nothing?" asked Juan in disbelief.**

** Felipe turned his back to his _amigo_ as his face burned. It had been quite something, all right. "She has agreed to help me."**

** "_Si_, but a what cost?" Juan shook his head. "Felipe, you need to tread carefully..."**

** "You've warned me already, Juan," he interrupted. "I can handle her."**

** "That's what worries me," stated his friend wryly. "You 'handling' her."**

** "I'm a married man."**

** "It's about time you remembered that," Juan said. Anymore scolding he might have done was stilled as Don Ernesto came into the room.**

** The attorney gave his two apprentices an appraising look. They appeared to be quarreling, he thought. The two young men usually got along so well. Hopefully it was nothing serious. He was quite pleased with their progress so far. They both were going to make fine lawyers. Juan had the makings of a fine trial attorney. And Felipe, he would be an excellent defender of the people.**

** Giving his head a shake, Don Ernesto turned his attention to both young men then went over the rest of the day's schedule with them.**

** It was early evening before Felipe finally made it home. Ana Maria was once again in the kitchen, preparing supper. She barely glanced at him as she put the food on the table.**

** "Ana," he began, but not really knowing where to begin. She looked up at him with her haunted brown eyes. Thoughts of his rendezvous with Sofia made him redden with shame and avert his gaze. He loved Ana Maria so much. But he was no longer sure of her feelings toward him.**

** "_Querida_, please tell me what's wrong," he declared ardently. "Ana Maria, I love you. I..I want to help you."**

** "There is nothing wrong," she replied. He could hear the false cheerfulness in her voice. "Eat your supper before it gets cold."**

** "Don't lie to me," Felipe retorted, angry at her denial. Breathing deeply as he quelled his ire, a question leapt from his heart that seared his soul. "Ana, d.. do you st.. still love me?"**

** "Of course." Now she was the one who turned away but not before he glimpsed the tears in her eyes.**

** Felipe sighed wearily. He started to eat the meal she had made even though he wasn't very hungry. He noted she just pushed her food around her plate as well. When he had swallowed all he could, he pushed his dish away and stood.**

** He then knelt down beside her chair and took her hand. She tried to pull away from him, but he held on tight. "Ana Maria, _por favor_," he pleaded, resolving one more time to get her to open up to him. "I love you, _querida_. I know losing the ba.. baby was hard, it was for me too..."**

** "You know nothing!" Ana Maria jumped to her feet. Felipe still would not relinquish her hand although she attempted to wrench it from him. "Let go of me."**

** "No," Felipe replied, trying to stay calm. "Please, we n.. need to talk about this. I know you're hurting, we both are. I'm afraid for you, _querida_. I.. I'm afraid for both of us."**

** "Leave me alone," she said quietly. "I'm fine. There is nothing wrong."**

** Felipe let go of her hand then. _Dios_, she was so far gone that she was deluding herself that everything was all right between them. "V.. Very well," he said as he got to his feet. "If that's what you want to believe. I.. I'll be at the tavern if you need me."**

** She glanced up at him sharply. He saw a spark of anger in her eyes, something he had not seen there for a long time. Felipe had to suppress a elated grin. Some small part of her did still care. He decided to take pity upon her. "I'll be home later," he murmured as he bent down and kissed her cheek.**

** Ana Maria stiffened at the gesture, then shrugged. "Up to you," she said dully. "I won't wait up." Rising from her chair, she began to clear the uneaten supper from the table.**

** Felipe stared at her for a moment, his heart full of yearning and anguish, before turning on his heel and departing the house.**

** Z Z Z**

** He did not return until after midnight. Ana Maria had gone to bed long before his arrival. Felipe spent another lonely night in the spare bedroom, his dreams filled with longing for his beautiful wife sleeping in the other room.**

** Felipe was almost late for work as Ana Maria did not wake him as she usually did. He had to make his own breakfast as well. Looking out the kitchen window, he could see her talking with Luisa Guevara as the neighbor woman was hanging up wet garments to dry. She ignored his wave as he hurriedly headed off to Don Ernesto's office.**

** The morning flew by quickly. Both Felipe and Juan were very busy, looking up precedents for three cases their patron was handling. The young de la Vega was filled with trepidation as his lunch time assignation with Sofia drew nearer. He recalled Padre Benitez' wise quotation 'The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak'. It certainly was true in his case. Whenever the young woman touched him, all his resolve seemed to melt away.**

** Sofia, dressed in a black riding habit today, although with the same low cut blouse displaying her ample bosom; was eagerly awaiting him at the barn's entrance. She led him into the building's dim interior where once again a blanket lay upon the floor.**

** "You have the evidence?" Felipe asked, not wanting to prolong this encounter any longer than necessary.**

** "_Si_," she said with a seductive smile on her lovely face. "But let's worry about that later." She snaked her arms up around his neck and brought his face down to hers. "We both know why we're here, don't we?"**

** Sofia didn't give him a chance to answer as she kissed him, thrusting her tongue into his mouth. Alarm bells went off inside his head. He shouldn't be doing this, he should...**

** All thoughts were driven from his mind as she caressed his chest. She slipped his jacket from his shoulders then shrugged out of her own as well. She deftly unbuttoned his shirt and tugged it from his waistband.**

** Felipe groaned as her fingers touched his exposed skin. Their kiss grew deeper and he pulled her closer, noting dully she did not shy away from the evidence of his desire. Mutually breaking away to catch their breath, Sofia looked up at Felipe. The respite let him recoup his reeling brain for a moment.**

** "Don't think, Felipe. Just feel." She took his face into her hands. He shut his eyes as he touched his lips to hers again. They lowered themselves down to the blanket.**

** His hands began to move of their own volition it seemed, sliding down from her shoulders to her heaving breasts. His thumbs rubbed the hard nubs he found there. He was so very tempted to take what she was offering, to lose himself in her arms and sink into her softness.**

** Felipe leaned down and kissed her neck. He pushed her blouse down off her shoulders, baring her bosom. His mouth made its way down to suckle one of her nipples when she boldly moved her hands to the fastening of his pants. Then she stroked a finger up his hard length. A wave of lust flowed through him, causing him to tremble.**

** But it also brought him to his senses. That was all this was, lust. He didn't even like her, let alone love her. He would love Ana Maria to his dying breath. Extricating himself from Sofia's grasp, he jumped up and took several steps backward as he tried to regain his composure.**

** "I.. I am sorry, Sofia," he started to apologize as he re-fastened his trousers, "I cannot d.. do this... It is not right..."**

** "You promised me," she spat out viciously, covering herself up again. She glared at him, seeing the remorse on his face. "Don't get all righteous on me. You wanted to do this too. You're not the first married man I've been with, you know. Most don't think about their wives at all, at least not until afterwards." She took a step toward him, not ready to let him escape.**

** Felipe shrank from her in disgust. "I love my wife with all my heart and soul," he declared. "I will not betray her with a whore like you."**

** She quickly traveled the distance between them and slapped his face. Sofia sneered contemptuously. "You have made a huge mistake, Señor de la Vega. You could have had me and proof of my father's wrongdoings. But you are so noble," she mocked him. "Why don't you go home to your little wife. She obviously isn't giving you what I could give you." She laughed bitterly.**

** Felipe realized part of what she said was true. That he probably lost his chance of obtaining any information about her father. But he was not ready to give up on Ana Maria and his marriage. The passion between them was still there. He just had to learn why she was so frightened of his touch.**

** "_Buenos dias_, Señorita," he said as he picked up his jacket then strode out of the barn. He could hear her footsteps behind him but he ignored them as he remounted his stallion. He rode away without a backward glance.**

** Z Z Z**

** He took Viento out for a good gallop instead of going back work. It was something he hadn't done during the six months he had lived in Santa Paula. He understood why Diego had taken Toronado out some nights, even when Zorro hadn't been needed. A man just had to escape once in a while from all the burdens that had been placed upon his shoulders.**

** It was early evening by the time Felipe returned to town. It took nearly an hour to cool down and curry his horse before securing him in the livery for the night. Then he reluctantly headed for home.**

** He grew alarmed as he approached their little cottage. All the windows in the front of the house were dark. _Madre de Dios_, he thought worriedly. What had happened? Breaking into a run, he burst through the door.**

** "Ana Maria?" Felipe called out anxiously. "_Querida_, where are you?"**

** His shoulders sagged in relief as he heard her voice coming from their bedroom "In here."**

** He opened the door and stopped in his tracks. Blinking, he could not believe what he saw. At least a dozen candles had been lit and placed around the room. The bed had been covered with rose petals.**

** But the most surprising thing of all was Ana Maria, lying there naked except for a few strategically placed blossoms; an inviting smile on her lips.**

** "I've been waiting for you, _querido_," she said a bit petulantly.**

** Felipe found it hard to breathe or swallow. Massive waves of guilt poured over him as he thought of what he had almost done with Sofia. "_Querida_, are you sure?" he inquired. He didn't know if he could take being rejected again.**

** "_Si_," she replied. She gazed up at him pleadingly. "_Por favor_."**

** His clothing was torn off in record time and he joined his wife on the bed. "I love you, Ana," he murmured several minutes later as he was about to enter her.**

** "I love you too, Felipe," she stated. She sighed with pleasure as he slowly sank into her depths.**

** If he had not been so ecstatic about what was taking place, he might have noticed that behind her smile was sorrow. A deep and painful sorrow that consumed her heart.**

** Z Z Z**

** The last thing Felipe wanted to do the next morning was get out of bed and go to work. Lying back against the pillows, he groaned as he remembered the bliss of the previous night. Then he looked over at his sleeping wife.**

** She was so beautiful. And she had been so amazing. It had always been good between them, but never like this. He couldn't stop the silly grin he knew he was wearing. Felipe placed a kiss on the top of her head, causing her to stir.**

** "What time is it?" she mumbled groggily as she barely opened her eyes.**

** "Six."**

** "You don't have to be to the office until eight?"**

** "No." Felipe's smile grew even wider. "Why?"**

** She answered his question without using any words. They very reluctantly dragged themselves from the bed about an hour later. Felipe got dressed as Ana Maria went to make breakfast.**

** "Sit down," she instructed him, placing his meal on the table as he entered the kitchen. He did as she bid but pulled her down onto his lap and kissed her.**

** "Why?" he queried again. She didn't pretend to misunderstand him. Ana Maria turned away, knowing she could not tell him the truth.**

** "Because I love you," she replied as she arose and went to get the coffee.**

** Felipe wondered if he should tell her about Sofia and what had almost happened. He was angry for getting himself in a compromising situation with the bewitching woman. On one hand, he didn't want to keep secrets from his wife. But wouldn't it just hurt her if he did unburdened his guilt?**

** He glanced up at Ana Maria as she poured the hot brown liquid into their cups. Her smile did not quite reach her eyes, he noticed. He was sure there was something she wasn't sharing with him as well. He closed his eyes. He should be happy, he had his beautiful, loving wife back. But he could not shake the feeling he was living in a fool's paradise.**

** Ana Maria embraced him tightly when it was time for him to head off to work. Concentrating was going to be very difficult today, Felipe mused as they kissed each other. He would probably spend most of the day reliving last night and dreaming of what would happen tonight.**

** "I love you, _querida_," he murmured as they drew apart. He gave her a quick peck on the mouth.**

** "I love you too, _querido_," she returned and shut her eyes. She hugged him so fiercely he thought they were going to merge into one being.**

** Very unwillingly he disentangled himself from her arms. "_Adios, querida_."**

** "_Adios_, Felipe," she replied, watching as he walked through the gate. He turned and blew her a kiss before continuing on his way.**

** "_Vaya con Dios, querido_," whispered Ana Maria as she wiped a tear from her cheek.**

** Z Z Z**


	9. Chapter Nine

**CHAPTER NINE**

  
** "Where have you been?" inquired Juan Morales as soon as Felipe walked into Don Ernesto's office just before eight o'clock. "How did it go? Did your plan...?"******

** Felipe held up his hand to silence his friend's barrage of questions and shook his head. "It didn't go well, _amigo_," he answered.******

** Juan shook his head. "You didn't...?" The other man's meaning was clear even though he did not finish his question.******

** "No," answered Felipe. "I didn't. But I have ruined any chance of proving her father is stealing the freeholders' land."******

** "I told you it was a bad idea," Juan stated. He nodded over at their patron's office door. "He's not too happy with either of us. I don't think he believe the explanation I made up to cover your absence yesterday afternoon."**   
  
** The young de la Vega hung his head. "I'm sorry, Juan," he apologized. "I didn't mean to get you embroiled in all my problems."******

** "_De nada_," replied the other man. "Isn't that what friends are for?" He slapped Felipe on the back, causing him to wince. He had forgotten how the previous evening their ardor became so intense at one point, Ana Maria had dug her fingernails into his shoulder blades.******

** "What did you tell him?" Felipe was curious to know. It was probably a good idea to keep their stories straight.******

** "That Ana Maria wasn't feeling well," replied Juan. "I couldn't think of anything else..."******

** They both came to attention at that moment when Don Ernesto opened his door. "Señor de la Vega, I wish to speak with you," he announced. Felipe realized he was in serious trouble.******

** "Sit down." The lawyer indicated the chair in front of his desk as he sat down in his own. "Felipe, your family have been good clients and good friends of mine for many years," he began. "When your grandfather asked if I would take you on as an apprentice, I did so without any qualms. I..."******

** "Don Ernesto, I.. I am truly sorry," Felipe interrupted to apologize. "Wh.. what happened yesterday will never occur again, I c.. can assure you." He winced as he stammered in front of the other man. Damn, he thought he was over this stuttering business. Maybe it had returned because of all the pressure he was feeling.******

** "Felipe, I sincerely hope that is true," his patron replied. "I cannot accept such behavior from a trainee and people will not tolerate it from an attorney either. It also wasn't fair to Juan. He had to do your work as well as his own." He leaned forward. "I know your wife has been through a trying time, Felipe. But you cannot let your personal life affect your career. You must learn how to separate the two."******

** The young man understood then that Calderon did not know about his meetings with Sofia. He exhaled with relief. The fewer people who knew about his stupidity concerning her, the better, he thought.******

** "How is your case with the freeholders' coming along?" the older man switched subjects. He looked up at Felipe expectantly.******

** "N.. Not very well, sir," was his reply. "I.. I cannot find any evidence of any wrongdoing."******

** "Has the land been surveyed?"******

** "No." Felipe mentally kicked himself. Drat, he should have come up with that solution. He did need to clear his head and start focusing on his job. "I.. I'll get that done."******

** "_Bueno_," said Don Ernesto. He began sorting through a pile of papers on his desk. "Now back to work, eh?"******

** "_Si_, sir." So dismissed, Felipe returned to the office he shared with Juan, who was busily thumbing through a very large book.**

** Z Z Z**

****

** The only respite they had all day was a quick lunch at the tavern, where they ate tamales and smoked their cigars. It was also the only chance they had to discuss Felipe's dilemma.******

** "So what are you going to do now?" asked Juan, who then took a puff off his cheroot.******

** "Get the land surveyed," Felipe replied. "After that, I'm not sure." He sighed, running his hand through his hair as he leaned back. "Juan, what do you know about the Salazars? I mean, you grew up here in Santa Paula..."******

** Juan shrugged his shoulders. "Everyone knows of them. Don Lorenzo's father came here before the pueblo was established, he was one of its leading early citizens. Doña Emilia, she was Sofia's mother, she died nearly ten years ago. Sofia was about ten, I think. I hadn't seen her for about five years until the other night." The young man paused, concentrating deeply. "She goes to Monterey to her aunt's quite often, every couple of years or so and stays for a long time."******

** He mulled over the information that Juan had imparted as he smoked his cigar. Why did Sofia go to her aunt's so often? Was it because her father wanted her to have a woman's influence in her life or was there another reason? He puzzled over it for a moment.******

** "She was going to betray her father to me," Felipe declared. "I wonder why she would want to do that."******

** Juan shook his head. "I don't know. I imagine she wasn't too happy you turned her down. She always was a spoiled little girl as I recall, getting everything she wanted."******

** Felipe nodded. "That hasn't changed as far as I can tell." He took a drag of his cheroot then blew out a flume of smoke. "It also doesn't help those freeholders who are being cheated by her father."******

** His friend shrugged again. "Once the land is surveyed, there should be no problem. It will be obvious he is encroaching on their land."******

** They soon headed back to work, where they found that Don Ernesto had taken on yet another case he needed them to research.******

** It was very late before the two apprentices were able to head for their respective homes. Juan still roomed at the boarding house Felipe had stayed when he had first come to Santa Paula. Those two months had been some of the most carefree of his life. True, he had missed Ana Maria immensely. But it had also been the first time he had been on his own as an adult. It seemed like such a long time ago, he thought******

** He was lost deep in his memories when a figure emerged from the shadows of the alleyway next to the law office. Felipe was startled to see it was Sofia Salazar.******

** "Felipe, I need to speak with you," she began, beckoning him toward the darkness.******

** "I have nothing to say to you," he retorted disdainfully. "Please, Señorita..."******

** "I want to give you a second chance," she stated, smiling charmingly at him. "My father is a bad man. I want to help you stop him."******

** "I don't believe you, Señorita." Felipe strained to look into the alley. There was no one else there as far as he could tell. But he still didn't trust her.******

** She came up to him and placed her hands on his arms. "_Por favor_, Felipe," she murmured seductively. "I can't get you out of my head. I've dreamt of you every night since we met. And I know you think of me too. You can't deny it."******

** "I can and I will," Felipe replied somewhat dishonestly. Last night with Ana Maria had driven the buxom young siren from his mind for most of the day. Only the occasional shiver of revulsion at the close call he had had with her had crossed his thoughts.******

** "Oh, Felipe, we both know that's not true," she purred. She moved her hands to his chest then down to his stomach. When they advanced lower, she glanced up at him, a mixture of disappointment and anger in her green eyes.******

** "Now we both know that it is," he said mockingly. He felt nothing for her but pity. Taking a step backward, he also took a deep breath. "I must be getting home, Señorita." He smiled wickedly at her. "My wife is waiting for me."******

** It was with a great deal of satisfaction he walked away, hearing Sofia's sharp intake of air. His meaning had been crystal clear. He glimpsed over his shoulder to see the young woman stomp her foot and flounce away. He grinned.******

** His good mood followed him to the cottage. Light pouring through the windows told him that Ana Maria was home, indeed waiting for him.******

** The first thing that alerted him that something wasn't right was the lack of aroma from cooking food. The second clue was that Ana Maria was nowhere to be found, even after he had searched every room of the small house.******

** Was she at one of the neighbors? He thought she had said something this morning about a dress she had finished for the Romeros' daughter. She had mentioned something about a fitting. Maybe she was still there.******

** He intended to go next door, when he noticed an envelope propped up in the middle of the kitchen table. His name was written in his wife's handwriting on its front.******

** Felipe stared at it for a long minute. Dread filled his soul. Finding it hard to swallow, he grabbed the missive and tore it open.******

** _Felipe,_****__**

**_ I am leaving and going far away. Please don't try to find me._**   
**_ I am so very sorry I have to do this. But it is something I_**   
**_ must do._**   
****   
**_ It is not your fault, Felipe. You have done nothing wrong._**   
**_ The blame is all on me._****__**

**_ I know that we cannot divorce. But maybe there is some way_**   
**_ you can get our marriage annulled. I want you to be happy and_**   
**_ find a wife who is truly worthy of you._****__**

**_ I know this will hurt you very much. It hurts me too. But I cannot_**   
**_ be your wife any longer. I am really very sorry, Felipe. I just hope_**   
**_ someday you will find it in your heart to forgive me and understand_**   
**_ that this was for the best._****__**

**_ Ana Maria_******

** When he had finished reading it, he collapsed into the nearest chair and shut his eyes.******

** Ana Maria had left him.**

** Z Z Z**

****

** No matter how many times he read her note, Felipe still could not believe it. There was that damn phrase again, 'for the best'. How could anyone think the love of his life leaving him and wanting to annul their marriage was 'for the best'?******

** He began to tear the letter into pieces. When he had thrown them up into the air, he glanced around the room. Standing, he grabbed the chair he had been sitting in and threw it. It crashed into the table and splintered into pieces.******

** Felipe didn't care. He was angry. He was devastated. It was either vent his feelings by being destructive or collapse into tears. He picked up more items of furniture and tossed them around the room.******

** He was making so much noise, he didn't hear the knock on the front door. Nor did he detect someone entering the house until a hand was placed on his shoulder. Felipe spun around so fast he nearly fell down.******

** "D.. Diego," he gasped, catching his breath. "Wh.. what are you doing here?"******

** His adopted father looked at the damaged furnishings. "I could ask the same question, _hijo_."******

** Felipe's self control returned and he stared in horror at what he had done. Then he remembered why he had done it.******

** "Ana Maria," was all he could manage to get out before crumbling to the floor, burying his face in his hands and trying valiantly not to dissolve into tears in front of Diego.******

** "Where is she?" questioned the older man. Whatever was wrong had to be extremely bad for Felipe to act this way.******

** "She's g.. gone," his son replied, his voice muffled by his hands.******

** "Gone?" _Dios mio_, was she dead? He knew that for awhile Felipe had been concerned about her health but he thought she was better.******

** "She left me."******

** Diego was stunned. He knew that Felipe had been infatuated with Ana Maria since the first time he had seen her. And that infatuation had grown into a deep and strong love for the young woman. He had also always felt that her love for his son had been even more fervent. Finally finding speech, he asked, "Are you sure?"******

** Felipe looked up at his father. Unshed tears glimmered in his eyes. "She wrote me a letter." He indicated the scraps of it strewn on the floor.******

** Sitting down on the floor next to the young man, Diego put a sympathetic arm around his shoulders. Finding strength in that reassuring touch, Felipe related everything that had happened since the miscarriage, even telling the older man about Sofia.******

** "Did you tell Ana Maria about her?" Diego inquired.******

** Felipe shook his head.******

** "Did someone else?"******

** All the blood drained from Felipe's face. _Madre de Dios,_ he never considered that possibility. Had that little hussy told Ana Maria what had occurred between them? Probably not, judging by her reaction of his rejection of her earlier this evening.******

** "I don't think so," he replied. "Only three people know, four counting you. Sofia's the only one I wouldn't trust."**   
  
** Felipe went over the note his wife had penned in his mind. He wished now he had not destroyed it. _'You have done nothing wrong'_, he recalled her writing. Did that mean she didn't know about Sofia and there was another reason she had disappeared?******

** He hid his face in his hands again. Diego, sensing his despair, patted him on the back. Once again, the contact caused Felipe to flinch then remember why. Is that what last night had been? he wondered. A farewell?******

** "I have to find her," he declared forcefully, removing his hands from his head. "I have to find out why..." He couldn't finish his thought as he fought to hold back his tears.******

** "I am truly sorry, Felipe," stated Diego. "You know you can count on me to help."******

** The young man got to his feet as did Diego. "_Gracias_."******

** Father and son embraced for a moment then began cleaning up the broken furniture.**

** Z Z Z**

****


	10. Chapter Ten

**CHAPTER TEN**

****

** The first place they looked was the livery stable. _Si_, the young man there had told them, a beautiful young lady had bought a horse there that morning. His _patron_ had sold her a chestnut mare probably about nine o'clock.******

** Felipe glanced at Diego in dismay. That meant she had quite a head start, nearly twelve hours. The stable hand had no idea which direction she had taken. They would never find her, Felipe despaired with a groan.******

** "Don't give up," Diego advised, reading the other man's thoughts. "I think she probably headed north." When his son stared at him, the doubt plain on his face, he continued, "Well, she couldn't go much farther west. There's not much to the east. I don't think she would go toward Los Angeles. That leaves only northward."******

** The young man nodded. He was extremely grateful Diego had shown up. He would have been totally lost without him.******

** Diego shook his head. "Let's get some sleep, then start searching in the morning," he suggested as they walked back to the cottage.******

** "All right," agreed Felipe. He had the air of a much older, defeated man that had his father deeply concerned.******

** Would life ever become easy for Felipe? wondered Diego. One would think that the struggles he had already overcome would have been enough for a person to endure in one lifetime. It seemed as soon as the young man cleared one obstacle, another quickly appeared in its place.******

** It was after midnight and the younger de la Vega still could not fall asleep. The events of the past few days kept replaying through his head. He had so many questions. Did Ana Maria find out about Sofia? And if she didn't know, why did she run away? Why had she not let him touch her for nearly two months, then allow him to make love to her the previous evening? Had she been planning to leave all along?******

** Checking to make sure he hadn't disturbed Diego, who was asleep in the spare room, he went outside and lit up a cigar. Even though Ana Maria wasn't there to scold him for what she called his 'nasty habit', he still respected her wishes that he didn't smoke in the house.******

** Damn, he missed her. It had only been a few hours since he learned she was gone, but in truth, she had left him two months ago. Ever since they had lost the baby, she had pushed him away and had retreated into herself. Unbidden tears formed in his dark brown eyes. He wished she had shared her pain with him. They both had been crushed by the loss of their child but he knew she bore the grief even harder than he.******

** What he had feared had to be true, that she had become mentally imbalanced. That was the only explanation that made any sense of her behavior. He inhaled deeply on his cheroot, then exhaled.******

** "Do you have another one of those?"******

** Felipe was startled by both the sound of Diego's voice and his request. He reached into his shirt pocket and handed a cigar to his father as the other man sat down next to him on the bench.******

** He stared incredulously as Diego expertly lit the cheroot. The older man glanced over at him and smiled. "Don't tell Victoria," he said with a laugh. "I only sneak one once in awhile."******

** "Your secret is safe with me." As soon as the words left his mouth, Felipe felt their impact. Looking at Diego, he could see that they had affected him as well.******

** "I know,_ hijo_," his father said after a few moments. "I've always been able to trust you. You never betrayed me all those years."******

** "Y.. You were my hero," declared Felipe. "I wanted to be just like you." He dropped his head into his hands. "I've made such a mess of my life, Diego. I.. I'm sorry."******

** "You don't have to apologize to me."******

** "Yes, I do. You told me to wait, that I didn't know her that well. That we were both too young." He raised his head. "You were right."******

** "Do you still love her?"******

** "_Si_," he said as tears once again filled his eyes. "I don't how I can live without her."******

** Diego nodded, knowing he felt the same way about Victoria and now Alfonso. He had been right, Felipe needed a father's guidance right now. Knowing how despondent his son could get, he was glad he was here to offer him a life line.******

** "We'll find her," stated Diego with a little more optimism than he felt. "Don't lose hope, Felipe."******

** The young man sighed as he crushed out his cigar. He nodded, but he knew deep down in his heart he already had.**

** Z Z Z**

****

** Reluctant to take off more time from his apprenticeship, Felipe was forced to do so once again. He told Don Ernesto the truth. The older man was quite understanding although somewhat unhappy about the situation. Diego sensed the lawyer's frustration as well.******

** Father and son spent the next three days traveling as far northward as they could before doubling back to Santa Paula. Felipe had drawn a small sketch of Ana Maria that they showed to nearly everyone they could in every pueblo they visited.******

** No one had seen the young woman. It was as though she had disappeared from the face of the earth. This only increased Felipe's despair. Had something horrendous befallen her? He tried to push those kind of thoughts from his mind to no avail.******

** It was very late on Sunday evening Diego and Felipe rode back into Santa Paula. The elder de la Vega felt as dispirited as his son looked. But he had done all he could and now he needed to get back to Victoria and Alfonso.******

** "I.. I'll be all right," Felipe had tried to reassure him next morning as he prepared to leave for Los Angeles.******

** "Very well," Diego agreed to the obvious lie. He patted the young man on the shoulder. "Come and visit when you can," he added. "We all miss you."******

** "I miss all of you too."******

** "Oh, before I forget," Diego reached into his saddlebag and pulled out a piece of paper. "Father said you wanted this."******

** The lease, his son thought forlornly. Somehow it didn't seem so important anymore. But then very little did. "_Gracias_," Felipe replied as he accepted the document. "Give everyone my love. Adios."******

** "_Adios_," Diego returned as he swung up into the saddle on Toronado's back. Felipe watched as his adopted father rode out of town toward Los Angeles. Taking a deep breath, he himself headed back to the little cottage where he now lived alone.******

** Ana Maria was all he could think about day and night. He had so many questions that only she could answer. And the likelihood that he would ever receive those answers grew dimmer with each passing day.**

** Z Z Z**

****

**LATE AUGUST 1826******

** It had been nearly two months since Ana Maria had disappeared. Felipe discovered that life went on whether he wanted it to or not. He couldn't help though but dwell on what might have happened to his wife.******

** He buried himself in his work, hoping it would take his mind off Ana Maria and stave off the black depression he knew into which he could easily fall. He went to Santa Barbara to arrange for surveyors to check the property lines between the two dons and the freeholders' holdings. It was discovered that the land had never been formally measured before and that the fence lines were off only a few meters, sometimes in the dons' favor, sometimes in the peasants'.******

** Felipe had called a meeting between the freeholders, Don Vicente and Don Lorenzo and told them of the findings. Everyone seemed to be satisfied by the results but Salazar had given him a glance that shot daggers as he had left the lawyer's office. Was it because of the land dispute or had Sofia told him of their trysts?******

** Don Lorenzo was an important man in Santa Paula. To make an enemy of him would not be a good idea, Felipe mused. The lease for the house was straightforward, no hidden clauses or conditions. Maybe Salazar dealt honestly with those of his own class while tromping upon the backs of the peasants. Felipe was like Diego, such men made him extremely angry.******

** He was surprised to receive an invitation to a birthday party for Sofia Salazar. He had not seen her since Ana Maria had run away. Should he go? He pondered it over before deciding that he should, mostly to keep in his landlord's good graces. He only wished that Juan had been invited too. He would feel more sure of himself if his _amigo_ was there to keep him out to trouble.******

** The celebration was in full swing as he arrived at the Salazar hacienda on the appointed evening. Servants attended to his horse and showed him to a large veranda. Lanterns and candles were everywhere as were flowers and food.******

** Felipe did not know most of the people there. A few of the women he recognized as some of the friends Ana Maria had made when she first came to Santa Paula. When they saw him, they whispered to each other then threw him sly glances. He ignored them. These were the same women who had deserted his wife after the miscarriage.******

** He never knew if Ana Maria had ever heard the remarks that had been made about her at the time. Doctor Gomez had a big mouth, it seemed. Thanks to him, the gossips found out that she had already been with child when they had wed. Juan had told him some of what had been bandied around the pueblo. He had wondered why she received all the censure. He had been to blame just as much as she.******

** Felipe was lost deep in his thoughts when a small hand grabbed his forearm and pulled him toward an dark, secluded alcove. Groaning with chagrin, he saw that it was Sofia. She was ravishingly gorgeous in a white silk dress, trimmed with flowers and lace, her ample breasts decorously covered. He had to hide a smile. Was she trying to pass herself off as an innocent virgin? He and probably most of the men present knew that was a lie. She probably hadn't been one for a long time.******

** "_Feliz Cumpleaños_," he said politely.******

** "_Gracias_," she replied carelessly. She stepped closer to him. "I heard your wife left you. Was it because of me?" The look on her beautiful face told him that she hoped it was true. She was truly a twisted person, Felipe thought.******

** "No, Sofia, believe it or not, it had nothing to do with you." He retreated backward.******

** The young woman pouted prettily. "Oh Felipe, you can tell me," she said. She came toward him again. He tried to back away but bumped up against a wall. Seeing her prey was trapped, Sofia smiled wickedly. She pressed her body to his.******

** "I love you, Felipe," she declared, casting her eyes down demurely. "I can't stop thinking about you." She then looked up at him boldly. "Please, I want you and I know you want me."******

** He tried to squirm away but that only made matters worse. Did she really love him? He sincerely doubted it. He was one of probably very few men who had resisted her wiles, which had to wound her vanity. She would say anything if she thought it would seduce him into her bed.******

** Words were not necessary however. His desire was growing just from the feel of her against him. Felipe took a deep breath. It felt like forever since he had held in his arms a woman who wanted him.******

** But it didn't matter, he refused to give in to her charms. He gazed down at Sofia's face. "Why do you do this to yourself?" he inquired. "You are a beautiful woman. You shouldn't throw yourself at every man who comes along, especially ones who are married."******

** "Why do you care?" Tears began to form in her green eyes.******

** "I don't know," he answered honestly. "I just think it is a shame. You should have more respect for yourself."******

** "You don't know anything about me," she hissed. "My father hates me and I hate him."******

** Felipe said nothing. She reminded him of Marta Bautista, the young woman who had caused so much distress for him and Ana Maria last year. Marta had also been a troubled girl. Fortunately she had not become pregnant as a result of her rape by Alonzo Montoya. Even so, she had gone to live with an aunt and uncle in San Clemente. The last Felipe had heard, about six months ago she had married a farmer who lived next door to her relatives.******

** "He wanted me to marry one of his friends when I was sixteen," Sofia broke the silence. "He was a horrible old man. I gave my virginity to our stable boy and became pregnant. My _novio_ wanted nothing to do with me after that. Papa made arrangements for the baby to be adopted by friends of my aunt's in Monterey." She stopped to wipe the tears from her face. "My father tried to marry me off to another of his widowed friends. I seduced both of the man's sons and made sure he found out about it. My father was livid. He beat me."******

** She looked at Felipe again. "He told me I was a whore. I started seducing his married friends, making sure he knew about every affair. I got pregnant again last year. I had to give her away too." Sofia had to pause again as she tried not to cry "She's six months old now. I got to see her just for a moment. She was so beautiful."******

** Felipe held her in his arms as she finally started sobbing. He felt sorry for this poor confused child. Don Lorenzo is the one who should be beaten, he thought angrily. The more he learned about the man, the less he wanted to know.******

** "My father doesn't know I've tried to sleep with you. I didn't want him to hurt you," Sofia said. She glanced up at him through her tears. "I'm sorry if I have caused you any trouble with your wife."******

** "My wife and I lost our baby," he said quietly. "She would have been born in about a month. Ana Maria was devastated. So was I."******

** "Is that why she left you? If you were mine, I'd never let you go," she stated fiercely. Felipe was surprised by her fervor. Perhaps she did have real feelings for him after all. Maybe if...******

** _Oh Dios_, how could he even think such a thing? Ana Maria was not dead. He had to breathe deeply to calm himself. "I don't know why she left," he replied honestly once he could speak again. "Sofia, I'm sorry, but there can never be anything between us. I shouldn't have become involved with you at all. It was wrong. Very wrong."******

** She lowered her gaze. "I know," she agreed. "I'm sorry too. I.. I.." She placed her hand upon his cheek.******

** Felipe smiled as he grasped her wrist and moved it away. "I know. If we had met at another time, under different circumstances.. Who knows?" He could not deny they were physically attracted to each other. But Felipe's heart belonged to Ana Maria and always would.******

** "_Gracias_," she murmured softly. She reached up and kissed him firmly on the lips. He gently returned the gesture.******

** The sound of someone angrily clearing their throat drew both Felipe and Sofia's attention. Felipe was stunned to see Don Lorenzo standing there, a furious expression on his round face.******

** "Well, well, well," he drawled, "what do we have here?"**

** Z Z Z**


	11. Chapter Eleven

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

** "Papa, it's not what you think," said Sofia defiantly. "Felipe and I.. we are just.." She glanced at Felipe shyly. "We are just friends."**

** "You expect me to believe that, you little harlot?" her father asked, barely keeping his temper in check. "You sicken me, you whore..." He began to raise his fist.**

** "Sir, I must ask you to apologize to your daughter," Felipe declared hotly. He had to keep the older man from striking Sofia. "What she says is the truth." He looked over at her and smiled. "We are just friends."**

** "There is only one way she know how to be 'friends' with a man," stated Salazar. "She'll lure you into her bed if she hasn't already. It is disgusting how many lovers she has had."**

** "I am not one of them," Felipe declared, "nor will I ever be. I must ask you again to apologize to Sofia, Don Lorenzo."**

** "It will be a cold day in hell before I beg forgiveness from this little trollop," vowed her father. He shook his head. "I thought you would have more sense, de la Vega. You had a beautiful wife. Did she leave you because of my daughter?"**

** "No, Sofia had nothing to do with it," Felipe ground out, now just as furious as Salazar. He despised the arrogant don. That he would beat and berate his daughter, no matter what the reason, sickened the young man.**

** "I sincerely hope, Señor," he said threateningly, "that you do not ever strike your daughter again. She has been through enough without you making her even more miserable."**

** "What I do to Sofia is none of your business, de la Vega," retorted the older man.**

** Felipe contradicted him. "I'm making it my business. A gentleman never hits a woman, even if she is his daughter. Especially if she is his daughter. You should realize how lucky you are, Don Lorenzo. I would do anything to be able to hold my child in my arms. But unfortunately I will never get that chance.**

** I'm sorry, Sofia," Felipe said, turning to face the young woman. "I have to go." He took her hand and gallantly brought it to his lips. "Think over what we talked about," he added. She nodded. Felipe turned and left the two Salazars standing in the alcove, staring at each other, wondering if they could pick up the pieces of their damaged relationship and become a family again.**

** Z Z Z**

** He went home to his empty house. He laid on the bed where he and Ana Maria had shared so much happiness. _Dios_, he missed her. He had known the first time he ever saw her that they were destined to be together. He would never annul the marriage. He intended to be her husband for the rest of his life.**

** That they had lost their child was still painful. He had never blamed her even though she had blamed herself. But why? he asked. She had done nothing wrong; these things often happened for no reason. It was nature's way of taking care of its mistakes. Diego had explained that to him a long time ago as part of a biology lesson.**

** Damn, his anger with her began to rise. What gave her the right to leave and not tell him why? And it wasn't only him she was hurting. Both Leonora and Victoria were frantic with worry about her. Her mother and Mendoza were putting their wedding plans on hold until she was found. How could she be so thoughtless of everyone else's feelings?**

** He got out one of his cigars and lit it. He no longer cared anymore about her no smoking in the house rule . It didn't make much sense to go outside since he was the only one living here.**

** He wondered if he should give up the cottage and go back to the boarding house he had first lived in when he came to Santa Paula. Or should he stay here in the unlikely chance she would return?**

** Putting his free hand over his eyes, he moaned then took one last drag from the cheroot before crushing it out in a dish he had placed on the night table for that purpose. Tomorrow, he thought wearily, I'll worry about all this tomorrow.**

** Felipe awoke late the next morning and had to hurry to make it to work on time. Don Ernesto and Juan were waiting for him in the little nook that was his and the other apprentice's office.**

** "Felipe," their _patron_ said a little gruffly. "I have an assignment for you."**

** "_Si_, sir." He hoped he didn't bungle it as he did the first case he had been given.**

** "I need you to go to Monterey," stated Calderon. "The magistrate there wants us to give him a summary of all the land disputes we have worked on since last year." He paused somewhat wearily. "It seems that the Spanish laws we have been using are no longer valid and there are new Mexican ones that must be applied instead.**

** I cannot go, I have that trial next week," he continued. Felipe nodded, recalling the case dealing with a woman who killed her husband. She claimed it was in self-defense but the alcalde had arrested her anyway. Don Ernesto broke into his thoughts. "And since Juan is assisting me, it leaves only you to take care of this matter." He gave Felipe a look which the young man grasped the significance of immediately. He was being given permission to search for Ana Maria while on the way to Monterey and back.**

** "You can count on me, sir," declared Felipe. "When do I leave?" He was quite eager to commence this journey.**

** "Tomorrow," replied Calderon. "We'll get the cases you need to take with you ready today."**

** "_Gracias,_" said Felipe gratefully.**

** He left the next morning at daybreak. The trip to Monterey was a long one and Don Ernesto had given him three weeks before he needed to return. Felipe didn't want to waste a minute of that allotted time.**

** The journey there was uneventful. The magistrate had quickly reviewed the cases Felipe had brought with him and only a few minor changes were made. It seemed that Mexican law wasn't all that different from Spanish law after all.**

** The young man intended to leave again early the next morning to begin his search in earnest. On the way north, he had made inquiries at all the lodgings and garrisons in each pueblo in which he stopped. No one had seen her.**

** It was late afternoon the next day and Felipe had ridden a fair distance. He was beginning to wonder if he should return to the small village he had passed through a few miles back. He didn't like the look of the dark clouds that were suddenly gathering along the western horizon. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw a bolt of lightening in the distance, followed by a loud clap of thunder.**

** As he rounded a bend in the road, he saw a large hacienda up on a hillside off the main road. Maybe he could seek shelter there instead of riding back to the village. He hadn't noticed an inn in the little town anyway.**

** Rain was pouring heavily by the time he reached the gates of the hacienda. The wind has also picked up as the lightening flashed and the thunder boomed. Viento was beginning to act up, frightened by the storm.**

** "Hold on, boy," Felipe reassured him. "I'll see what I can do about getting us a place to stay for the night."**

** He walked the horse up to the front door of the building and dismounted. There was a roofed portico that he left the stallion under to shelter him from the rain. Then he knocked loudly on the door.**

** The sky lit up as the door was opened. _Madre de Dios_! thought Felipe. "_Buenas tardes_," he greeted the woman standing there. "I wonder if my horse and I might find shelter here for the night?"**

** "All are welcome here, _mi hijo_," she said. She was dressed in a loose black gown and her head was covering by a large hood which framed her wrinkled face. "Welcome to the Convent of the Holy Mother."**

** "_Gracias, Hermana_," said the grateful young man as she motioned him inside. He glanced back outside. "My horse?"**

** "Julio, our handyman, will take care of him," the nun replied. "This way, Señor..."**

** "De la Vega," he supplied his name. "Felipe de la Vega."**

** It must have been his imagination but it sounded like the sister gave a little gasp at the mention of his name. How would she know who he was unless...? She probably thought he was Zorro, he mused wearily. Even nuns living in a secluded convent had heard of the masked hero. He shook his head in amazement.**

** The woman led him to a large kitchen where a fire was blazing. She instructed him to stand near it to dry himself. "I'll go find Julio," the nun stated. "Supper will be in two hours unless you are hungry now?"**

** "No, I can wait," Felipe responded. He didn't want to be too much of a burden. Although the house was neat and clean, it was also decidedly shabby as was the sister's habit. They were obviously an order that took their vow of poverty very seriously, he thought.**

** He stood facing the fire, using its warmth to unthaw his hands. Felipe spun around as he heard someone walk into the room, thinking it was the nun who had ushered him here a few minutes earlier.**

** It was not her. It was his wife.**

** Z Z Z**

** Ana Maria did not noticed the man standing near the fireplace until he turned around and faced her. Unable to scream, she dropped the basket of apples she had been carrying. The fruit rolled onto the floor, one apple stopping at Felipe's feet.**

** "Felipe?" she whispered, bringing her hands to her face.**

** "Ana?" He kept his voice low as well.**

** "What are you doing here?"**

** "I could ask the same of you," he replied, gazing at the black garment she wore. "You haven't become a...?"**

** "No," Ana Maria interrupted. "I cannot, I am still your..."**

** "Wife," Felipe finished for her. He stepped toward her, encircled her in his arms and kissed her on the lips.**

** "Felipe, _por favor_," she pleaded, pushing him away before the kiss grew too passionate.**

** "_Dios,_ Ana, do you know what torment I've been through?" he asked, his voice full of pain. "I've looked everywhere for you. I imagined all sorts of horrible things happening to you. Why did you leave me?" He removed his hands from her. "What did I do that made you hate me so much you had to run away from me?"**

** "Oh, Felipe, I don't hate you," she answered. "I love you. That's why I had to leave." Her eyes were full of tears.**

** He shook his head. "That doesn't make sense. If you love me, why would you have to go away?"**

** Ana Maria collapsed onto a long wooden bench. "I just had to. You would never understand."**

** "Please, Ana," he pleaded as he sat next to her. "I need to know." The anguish in his voice tore at her heart.**

** She looked down at the spotlessly clean floor and took a deep breath. "I am a bad person. It was all my fault I had the miscarriage. I killed our baby."**

** "What the hell are you talking about?" he growled out angrily. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. She couldn't mean that the way it sounded.**

** "Shh..." she cautioned then scolded, "and don't curse."**

** "Sorry," he apologized, forgetting where he was for a moment. Continuing in a whisper, he asked, "What do you mean, you killed the baby?"**

** "By being a harlot," she stated. "I am a terrible person, Felipe. I.. I have sinned and I led you astray as well. That's why the baby died, because it was conceived in sin." She looked away from his shocked brown eyes.**

** "That's nonsense," he uttered once he could speak again. This is what had been troubling her all this time? Just because they had been intimate before they were married, she thought that was why they had lost their child? Who put such foolishness into her head?**

** "_Dios_, Ana Maria, that is not true," he declared fervently. "You are definitely not a harlot. Nothing could be further from the truth." He reached over and grasped her hand. "We should have waited until we were married, that's true, but we didn't. You didn't lead me astray. I knew what I was doing was wrong but that didn't stop me from making love to you anyway. It was just as much my fault as yours.**

** And our child," he continued, "we didn't lose her because our 'sin'." He paused to take a deep breath. "Ana, she just wasn't meant to be. There was something wrong with her development. I never told you this before," he said, gazing at her solemnly, "because you were pregnant and I didn't want to frighten you then afterwards, I couldn't bear to. Diego's mother, Doña Felicidad; she had four miscarriages."**

** "Four?" she gasped. She closed her eyes. The poor woman. She had heard of how good and kind Señora de la Vega had been and how devastated everyone had been when she had died.**

** Felipe knew what was going through his wife's mind. It didn't make sense that she, Ana Maria, was being punished for being a bad woman by losing her baby. Why would such a saint as Diego's mother have had the same thing happen to her?**

** "Where did you get these ridiculous notions anyway?" he demanded to know. "Why didn't you come to me, _querida_? I had no idea you were thinking such things."**

** "Padre Flores told me it was my fault" she admitted. "He said that women like me should never be mothers, that we would pass our sinfulness down to our daughters. Felipe, I.. I enjoy.. what we do together.. you know.. in bed. I know I am not supposed to, but I can't help it." She hung down her head. "That's when I knew I had to leave you. I couldn't let you touch me or else you would be tainted too. I didn't want to lead you into hell just because I was a fallen woman.**

** "_Dios mio_, Ana," whispered Felipe as he gathered her into his arms. "That is not true." It was a good thing they were so far away from home. Otherwise he would have strangled the misogynistic priest with his bare hands . "What we do in bed is..."**

** He paused to inhale as images of them together flashed through his mind. "Your enjoying it is not wrong, _querida_. How could our loving each other possibly be evil? If it wasn't pleasurable, for both men and women, no one would want to do it and there wouldn't be anymore babies. The human race would die out." He understood now why she chose to run away to a convent. She had been trying to atone for her alleged 'sins of the flesh'.**

** He kissed her again. She resisted a little at first but eventually surrendered to the passion that always burned between them. When he pulled away he saw the tears sliding down her cheeks.**

** "Oh, Felipe, I am so sorry," she said contritely. "I've been such a fool. Between what the padre said and everything Mama had told me when I was growing up, I thought I was doing the right thing by setting you free." She hugged him tightly. "Can you ever forgive me?" She started sobbing as he brought her face up so he could look into her eyes.**

** "Promise me one thing," he declared. She nodded.**

** "Anything."**

** "You have to stop thinking you harmed our child just by being its mother," he stated. "Ana, you are going to be the best mother in the world. I wouldn't want anyone else to bear my children. I love you, _querida_."**

** Ana Maria wiped at her tears. "I promise," she vowed in a shaky voice. "Felipe, I love you too. I'm so sorry."**

** He showed her he forgave her by kissing her senseless. After they drew apart, she brought her hand to her mouth. "I'm supposed to help make supper. _Hermana_ Maria and _Hermana_ Teresa are supposed to be here by now."**

** Felipe smiled. "I think they are giving us a little privacy," he said, remembering the old nun's reaction to his name. She must have figured out he was Ana Maria's husband and it wouldn't surprise him if she was making sure they weren't being disturbed.**

** She intended to start on her chores, when she stopped and looked at him. "How did you find me?"**

** He told her everything, including his almost affair with Sofia. "I nearly slept with her," he confessed, unable to look her in the eye.**

** "What stopped you?" Although she was seething with rage and jealousy, she still wanted to know what had kept him from breaking their marriage vows.**

** "You, Ana," he declared. "I thought of you and nothing else seemed important. I could never hurt you like that.**

** I'm truly sorry, _querida_," Felipe murmured as he saw the anger and pain in her eyes. "It will never happen again."**

** A wicked little grin appeared on her beautiful face. "You can count on that," she stated as she drew him in her arms. "I intend to keep you chained to my side from now on. I love you, _querido_."**

** "I love you so much, Ana," he whispered then kissed her waiting lips.**

** Z Z Z**

**Author's note: Of course this isn't the end of the story! Of course I wrote an epilogue.**


	12. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

**LATE SEPTEMBER 1826**

** The pueblo de Los Angeles was taking on a definite decorative air. The townspeople had been busy all day putting up streamers and flowers. Everything had to be made ready for the big event the next day.**

** It wasn't everyday that the commandante of the garrison got married. In fact, he had never ever been married before. The de la Vegas were at the tavern with Mendoza and his men as the soldier was enjoying his last night as a single man.**

** "Here's to Mendoza," offered Don Alejandro, lifting his glass of wine. The rest of them did likewise.**

** Felipe took a sip and smiled. It had been a month since he had found Ana Maria. After he had sent word to Los Angeles that she was safe and sound, they had made their way back to Santa Paula.**

** The sisters at the convent had a tiny guesthouse that the reunited couple had stayed in that fateful night. They had melted into each others' arms on the small cot as the storm raged on outside. The consequences of that night brought an even bigger grin to his face.**

** "Did I tell you that Alfonso is crawling already?" Don Alejandro broke into the young man's thoughts. "Not even six months old yet. I swear that boy is the most clever child in all of California."**

** The elder de la Vega loved to brag about his little grandson to just about anyone who listen (and even some who didn't). "He takes after his _abuelo_," said Felipe with a chuckle.**

** Don Alejandro laughed heartily. He patted the young man on the back. "I'm proud of you, too, _hijo_. You've survived through what would have broken a lesser man."**

** Felipe's grin disappeared. He had almost cracked under all the stress of the past six months. The thought of disappointing Diego and Don Alejandro had been one of the things that had kept him from doing so.**

** "_Gracias, Abuelo_," he said solemnly.**

** The elder de la Vega then nudged him in the ribs. "I don't think we should let Mendoza drink anymore," he whispered, indicating the slightly tipsy lancer. "I'm sure his bride-to-be will thank us tomorrow."**

** "I think you're right," replied Felipe, the smile returning to his face. His mother-in-law would not be happy if her groom was hung over the next day. He shook his head. Mendoza was going to be his father-in-law. It was still just a little hard to believe.**

** He and Don Alejandro stood, intending to break up the bachelor party before things got out of hand. They hadn't gotten too far when the tavern door opened and three women entered the establishment. Victoria and Ana Maria were wearing smiles as they search for their husbands. Leonora's countenance was somewhat less pleasant as she spied her intoxicated husband-to-be.**

** "Uh oh," the soldier muttered when he saw her face. He unsteadily got to his feet amid comments by his men of already being hen-pecked.**

** Felipe encircled Ana Maria in his arms as they both tried unsuccessfully to contain their mirth. Saying their goodbyes, the young couple then made their way across the plaza to the dressmaking shop. They were staying there this visit so Ana Maria could help her mother with the wedding preparations.**

** They waited until Leonora had retired for the night before undressing and getting into bed. Felipe kissed his beautiful wife as they lay there.**

** "Are you scared?" asked Felipe, placing his hand on her bare stomach.**

** "To death," she replied, putting her hand on top of his. "It feels different this time though. I haven't felt queasy and my back doesn't hurt like last time."**

** "Oh, _querida_," he murmured. "I'm scared too. We just have to pray that we'll have a healthy baby this time."**

** "A little boy who looks just like his papa," declared Ana Maria. She took his face in her hands.**

** "No, a little girl as beautiful as her mama," contradicted Felipe. He kissed her.**

** "Well, we will have to wait eight months to find out who's right," she stated. She kissed him back.**

** "Care to make a little wager?" asked Felipe mischievously.**

** "No," she responded as she took a small swipe at him. "You don't need to add gambling to your other bad habits."**

** Felipe laughed and gathered her into his arms**

** "Have I told you today that I love you?" he asked as he stroked her black curls.**

** "Only about a dozen times," she replied as she caressed his face. "But who's counting?" She smiled as she kissed his lips. The whiskers of his beard, which he had grown while she had been gone, tickled her but she liked it. "I love you, Felipe," she murmured.**

** "I love you too, Ana," he declared as he hugged her close. Felipe wished everyone could be as happy as he was at this moment. The woman he loved was in his arms, their child was in her belly... Ah, life was good.**

** Z Z Z**

**_FIN_** **__**

**_Author's Notes: I know I put these last few chapters up a lot faster than I did the first ones. I did this for a couple of reasons. The story was done (except for my constant tweaking) plus I'm not going to have access to my computer for several days. So I decided not to drag it out any longer. I don't know when my next story will be done. I am working on a couple of them but I don't know if I will post one of them. Maybe on my personal webpage but not here._****__**

**_Thanks again to all my readers, reviewers and my beta._**


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